Spoiler alert! No. No, it wont.
So I m tried to make my first green smoothie today. And I think I learned quite a few things while doing so! That was the process:
Step 1
I prepared the kale and one Granny Smith apple to get steamed! For the kale, it's just to blanch it. (There is no way I could use the whole thing at once, especially since this is only one half. And the rest went right into the freezer, after getting an icy bath.) The apple on the other hand went in there, to prevent it from killing me later on. Raw apples - as much as I loved them - now cause a cross-allergy, leading to a swollen throat and an itch EVERYWHERE in my mouth and throat. Not a good time. But heating that shit up seems to do the trick so it won't affect me!
100°c with some steam for a few minutes and it was defused.
Step 2
Then I added a banana, the now non-lethal apple and mashed it with a hand-held blender. It works better while laughing really diabolical while doing so.
Step 3
After cutting away the stem and pretty much all hard parts of the kale leaves, they got cut into small slices and more mashing occurred. Also, more crazy laughing.
Step 4
More greens! Some young spinach added to the mix, just to get mashed and laughed at. I might have a problem.
Step 5
DIE, KIWI!!! DIIIEEEE!!!
Step 6
Added water, so it's not just... sludge. At least I achieved SOMETHING. Not sure what, but it's a smoothie-like... thing. More blending only led to the blender-motor slowly overheating.
Step 7
Drinking. [not depicted]
Hmm... not bad. But not very good either. The kale is still very prominent and while I don't dislike the taste, I would have preferred a more fruity flavor. So next time: less kale, more kiwi, banana and maybe a bit pineapple. Or something... lemonlike.
Also, I need a blender. Like, an actual blender. Not just this hand-held blender. While it's great for stuff like banana milk, or creamy soups, there is just no way that thing gets the smoothie anything close to smooth. So, it was more of a... "chunkie". And I really don't want to chew my drinks.
So the quest continues!