A few months ago I got a text from an ex asking for a favor for her daughter. My first thought was burn in hell bitch but it was for her kid.
The kids school is really pushing girls into STEM programs and since I work for an engineering company I was able to get her interviews with four of the engineers here who are...
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Hanging out with a friend and she wasn't wearing any makeup. My brain says "you have really good skin and look amazing without makeup". My mouth says " you look really good without all of that crapnon your face".
Yup I'm smooth with the ladies.
I got so frustrated with some friends and walked away before killing them. Last night and this morning I put some time in the gym and right now I can barely move my arms. It's really embarrassing when you have to ask someone to twist the cap off of your water.
Next time I'll do legs.
I'm in a friend's wedding and tonight I was introduced to my date for the wedding. Only one small problem I already have a date and she doesn't smoke like a chimney like the bride's friend. This got awkward quick and stayed awkward.
I love my friends but maybe picking up the phone and asking instead of assuming would save us a whole lot of...
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I've been having really vivid dreams lately. They are really fun but when I wake up I feel exhausted almost like I'm not getting any sleep at all. I'm in a catch 22 situation, the dreams are great especially the ones with the dragons but I'm really dragging ass right now.
I talked to my doctor about this and he seems to think it a...
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A friend of mine announced last weekend that he and his girlfriend are getting married. I could not be happier for them, their insanity meshes perfectly and I think this will be a long and happy marriage.
Today I got a call from him asking me to be his best man. My first words were "Do I have to wear a Tux????". I said I...
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I work for a company that has offices world wide. Today we had an online training session and I got to hear just how different English is spoken around the world.
The session was being hosted in London and people called in from Europe and North America. The presenters first language is French so that is what made me think about this.
During the question...
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My idiot neighbor has bronchitis but won't stop hitting his bong. If it's between 9 AM and 9 PM I don't really have a problem but at 3 AM I should be allowed to dope slap him.
Yesterday at work there was an odd occurrence. The fire alarm went off in the elevators and stairwells but nll it in the offices. This happened about half an hour before most people get into the building. Everything was ok, they are working on the alarm systems and had triggered a false alarm.
The fun part is that I'm a floor warden and it's my...
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I told a guy who was parked in a handicap spot that "I should make an honest man out of him" a few weeks back. Today I watched the building people tow his car away.
I guess he pissed of more than just me.