Its a really gorgous out tonight.... the full moon looks soo beautiful!
I just took this pic while walkin home from work
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I was thinking alot today when I was doin the laundry. I always think alot when I do the laundry. Because usually I turn on some music and it reminds me to a certain time, with certain people, doin a certain thing. And its funny how at one point, something will kinda shake your mindframe and youll remember how this song used to remind you of someone different, doing something else, at a different time. Its funny how memories fade but then something will just jog your mind back to that place. Maybe a place you hate.
And its also wierd, that everytime I listen to a NIN cd, it always feels brand new. Like Im always relating them to something different and analyzing them a different way to fit my mood. Those cds been threw hell and back with me and its always all of them that does the trick. I'll never stop loving them. Im almost in love with the cds, because the cds shows me how not right love is. You love people different ways, and love fades and can also take over your life. It can blind you, make you sad, make you happy, confuse, make you want to run away, make you hurt yourself, make you feel alone, make you content. It could do a million and one things and no matter what, we all crave it and search for it, even when we think we find it. Love isnt holding hands and kissing.
Theres love in holding hands. Theres love in kissing. But there loves in the sun, in rainy days, in the stars, in your eyes, in song lyrics, in writings, in flowers, even in just holding a door open for someone that you dont know. Alot of things made alot of sense to me today and made me realize that I have no idea where Im going with anything.
Moving to England away from my friends and family, made me relize how strong I can be, and how much I actually count on my husband and mostly how much he is there for me. He has proved alot of different things to me in my life time and showd me just how much he truely does care about me. And thats a wonderful thing. But honestly Ive felt like Ive lost so much sinc I moved here, and the stress is being worn on my face, you can see it.
Im searching for something I dont even know what it is. I think Im searching for something thats greater than me and everyone around me. I thought I found what I was looking for so fucking long ago that I thought everything was just gonna be okay after that. That I was fucking invincible. And I felt invincible. Id kill for that feeling again. But I dont own a time machine and although Im a mess right now, Im finding someway to rebuild this city after one hell of a disaster.
I wish I could write like Peter Wentz, and make everything so clear to you all. But Im not, Im hiding things in between the lines and not making any sense at all. But thats okay it really is. Because Im saying what I need to be said. When it comes to my husband, he means so much to me. And I hope he knows that. The one who will hold my hand when Im crying and not try and turn everything around so the focus is back on him. I hate the sound of Kyle crying. It breaks my heart more than it already is.
My husband once told me I was one step ahead of everyone and I only turned around to everyone behind me when I needed help. And for the longest time he seemed so right. So I tried to change myself, and I tried to do it in the midst of all this nonsense that was occuring in my life. And I tired, I really did and instead of turning around this time I just fell. I feel so awful for complaing so much, I just wish everyone could understand. I wish I could sit down with everyone I care about and tell them how I honestly truely feel about them. And I wish the same of me.
For some reason I have this genious plan in my head that maybe if I did take the the time to do that, to sit down and talk and share such loving moments with everyone I care about that maybe everything will come back together and fix itself. But the truth is I cant fight this revolution by myself. So Im turning around one last time. But this time Im taking 2 fuckin steps back, and holding your fucking hand. I love you all !!
I just took this pic while walkin home from work
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
I was thinking alot today when I was doin the laundry. I always think alot when I do the laundry. Because usually I turn on some music and it reminds me to a certain time, with certain people, doin a certain thing. And its funny how at one point, something will kinda shake your mindframe and youll remember how this song used to remind you of someone different, doing something else, at a different time. Its funny how memories fade but then something will just jog your mind back to that place. Maybe a place you hate.
And its also wierd, that everytime I listen to a NIN cd, it always feels brand new. Like Im always relating them to something different and analyzing them a different way to fit my mood. Those cds been threw hell and back with me and its always all of them that does the trick. I'll never stop loving them. Im almost in love with the cds, because the cds shows me how not right love is. You love people different ways, and love fades and can also take over your life. It can blind you, make you sad, make you happy, confuse, make you want to run away, make you hurt yourself, make you feel alone, make you content. It could do a million and one things and no matter what, we all crave it and search for it, even when we think we find it. Love isnt holding hands and kissing.
Theres love in holding hands. Theres love in kissing. But there loves in the sun, in rainy days, in the stars, in your eyes, in song lyrics, in writings, in flowers, even in just holding a door open for someone that you dont know. Alot of things made alot of sense to me today and made me realize that I have no idea where Im going with anything.
Moving to England away from my friends and family, made me relize how strong I can be, and how much I actually count on my husband and mostly how much he is there for me. He has proved alot of different things to me in my life time and showd me just how much he truely does care about me. And thats a wonderful thing. But honestly Ive felt like Ive lost so much sinc I moved here, and the stress is being worn on my face, you can see it.
Im searching for something I dont even know what it is. I think Im searching for something thats greater than me and everyone around me. I thought I found what I was looking for so fucking long ago that I thought everything was just gonna be okay after that. That I was fucking invincible. And I felt invincible. Id kill for that feeling again. But I dont own a time machine and although Im a mess right now, Im finding someway to rebuild this city after one hell of a disaster.
I wish I could write like Peter Wentz, and make everything so clear to you all. But Im not, Im hiding things in between the lines and not making any sense at all. But thats okay it really is. Because Im saying what I need to be said. When it comes to my husband, he means so much to me. And I hope he knows that. The one who will hold my hand when Im crying and not try and turn everything around so the focus is back on him. I hate the sound of Kyle crying. It breaks my heart more than it already is.
My husband once told me I was one step ahead of everyone and I only turned around to everyone behind me when I needed help. And for the longest time he seemed so right. So I tried to change myself, and I tried to do it in the midst of all this nonsense that was occuring in my life. And I tired, I really did and instead of turning around this time I just fell. I feel so awful for complaing so much, I just wish everyone could understand. I wish I could sit down with everyone I care about and tell them how I honestly truely feel about them. And I wish the same of me.
For some reason I have this genious plan in my head that maybe if I did take the the time to do that, to sit down and talk and share such loving moments with everyone I care about that maybe everything will come back together and fix itself. But the truth is I cant fight this revolution by myself. So Im turning around one last time. But this time Im taking 2 fuckin steps back, and holding your fucking hand. I love you all !!