I'll try and be a bit less cryptic in this blog. Especially compared to that last blog.
First off, let me explain - there's a girl I've really liked since first year. Grew up in a musical background and is an amazing fingerpicking guitarist. Knows a lot of the folk guitarists that I got introduced to through my local acoustic guitar club - by going to HER local acoustic guitar club. Long story short, I was being friendly, if a little flirty, and at one point I cracked some sort of joke about me and her and I got a "haha, if only... you're just not my type!" response. That explains that one.
I'm feeling pretty conflicted lately. I've made a conscious effort over the last year to play up to all my positive traits, and play down my negative ones. Back home, my friendship group revolves around pretty cutting, sarcastic humour towards each other - it's not nasty, it's just how we are. I've been consciously playing that down, as I know it can be a bit much for some people. I've made more an effort to be social, even if going to a dubstep night in a shit club where they serve expensive beer isn't my thing.
The thing is - it never seems to get me anywhere. People have a set idea of what I'm like, so change isn't easy - rather than accepting the fact that I'm attempting to change for the better, they get suspicious. Or worse, they think I'm being sarcastic when I'm being nice.
(Let me preface this next bit by mentioning that I'm fully aware of my own narcissism - however, being aware of one's strong suits is nice when you're prone to depression..).
My issue is that I don't think I'm a bad person. I may not be the most attractive, fashion-conscious cool kid on the block, but I never have been. That said, I don't think I'm REALLY ugly, I have a fairly broad and knowledgeable taste in music, I'm very loyal, I'm loving, I'm always thinking of others, I'm pretty handy around the house with regards to fixing things, and I'm not a bad cook to boot. I'm not looking for anything from anyone, but I would love a little more recognition of my good side. Plenty of people say "yeah, Joe, hes' a good looking lad" or "Jamie, great live sound engineer" but I never get anything aside from a mildly-humourous "Chris, he's a cunt, but his heart's in the right place."
I don't even know that I want a girlfriend, or any sort of commitment, but it'd be nice for someone to at least show a little interest in me.
To finish, I started a new blog and I'd love some feedback from anyone who's reading this.
http://whatstudentseat.wordpress.com
xxx
First off, let me explain - there's a girl I've really liked since first year. Grew up in a musical background and is an amazing fingerpicking guitarist. Knows a lot of the folk guitarists that I got introduced to through my local acoustic guitar club - by going to HER local acoustic guitar club. Long story short, I was being friendly, if a little flirty, and at one point I cracked some sort of joke about me and her and I got a "haha, if only... you're just not my type!" response. That explains that one.
I'm feeling pretty conflicted lately. I've made a conscious effort over the last year to play up to all my positive traits, and play down my negative ones. Back home, my friendship group revolves around pretty cutting, sarcastic humour towards each other - it's not nasty, it's just how we are. I've been consciously playing that down, as I know it can be a bit much for some people. I've made more an effort to be social, even if going to a dubstep night in a shit club where they serve expensive beer isn't my thing.
The thing is - it never seems to get me anywhere. People have a set idea of what I'm like, so change isn't easy - rather than accepting the fact that I'm attempting to change for the better, they get suspicious. Or worse, they think I'm being sarcastic when I'm being nice.
(Let me preface this next bit by mentioning that I'm fully aware of my own narcissism - however, being aware of one's strong suits is nice when you're prone to depression..).
My issue is that I don't think I'm a bad person. I may not be the most attractive, fashion-conscious cool kid on the block, but I never have been. That said, I don't think I'm REALLY ugly, I have a fairly broad and knowledgeable taste in music, I'm very loyal, I'm loving, I'm always thinking of others, I'm pretty handy around the house with regards to fixing things, and I'm not a bad cook to boot. I'm not looking for anything from anyone, but I would love a little more recognition of my good side. Plenty of people say "yeah, Joe, hes' a good looking lad" or "Jamie, great live sound engineer" but I never get anything aside from a mildly-humourous "Chris, he's a cunt, but his heart's in the right place."
I don't even know that I want a girlfriend, or any sort of commitment, but it'd be nice for someone to at least show a little interest in me.
To finish, I started a new blog and I'd love some feedback from anyone who's reading this.
http://whatstudentseat.wordpress.com
xxx
niobe:
Good luck!!