porcelainlace

I I I I I.....I Wanna BE SEDATED!!!!
so im going back to school for the few months i have left to leave a person i should have never been with to begin with. i never loved him i always loved an ex of mine i messed up i kissed someone else and forever lost him. even now when my life looks perfect it is nothing to me. i read over letters he use to write me ive frozen my life in time....sleeping on a couch just waiting for the day i can leave.
i know now no one could have ever replaced such an amazing person.
i guess im hiding now...my shame...myself....how far ive let my life destroy me.
holding onto pictures of the past that will never be a person i cant even talk to.
to him....i love you deeper than the waters...that never changed....id beg at your feet for centuries just for forgiveness and another chance....to you i could never express how sorry i am. how stupid i was. how i took you from my own life. ill always feel you...the missing part of my life.

so my plans are to get my own place and live a life with my dogs and myself because true love cant be replaced or changed. its time now to find forgiveness in myself....and creepily put his picture back on my wall.