Have you ever planted your feet on the ground and starred as hard as you could at one star, where everything around you blacks out and you can just see that one star, maybe moving just a bit or twinkling back at you, and you realize you are such a small part of an immensely huge equation. I have and I know my life is small and bleak at the moment and most likely till moments end, but now I find myself just asking why? Why did I choose the path behind me to bring me to the point I am at right now, what lessons am I learning, what lessons have I learned? The truth is I will never know the answer to any of those why questions because everything is free will. What we do in one life, effects another in a place far off. So have my bad and good decisions weighed them self to a balance where I find myself in limbo everywhere I go. I might run for hours and I will get no where, I might drive for days and wake up in the same spot. Everything seems so repeatative right now that I am just waiting for someone else's decisions to effect my life. Then maybe the blacked out areas of my eyes focused on that one star will come fading back into view and I can see the reality I walk in again.
oh and happy birthday!