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thursday was the worst fucking day!!!

i'm over it.
i had psuedo- date today, it was cute, he tried to hug me after wards.. it was funny.

theres a party tonight, i think i'm gonna stop by and check it out. it will be good for laughs.

in an attempt ot reconcile my money problems i went out and got some new cd's, some velvets,...
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akasnuggles:
fuck thursdays. really, fuckit...i'll give you five bucks if you proper fuck thursday--that motherfucker's always going on about never getting any.
help me out here.
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ummm
lets talk about my feelings.

i feel lonely..
i feel horney..
i feel like i want a big plate of nachos.
i feel resentfull


i feel like those are all the feelings i have....

i saw my ex today...it was not pleasent...i literally have a bad taste in my mouth from the little bit of vomit that came up at the mear sight of...
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propaganda4u:
Hmmm, Resentful, Horney, Nachos... I can't think of a time when I am not having those feelings.

I have been entertaining the idea about leaving SG too.
akasnuggles:
i've been thinking about leaving the site
me too. but i've felt that way for a while. i dont read the interviews, i dont check out the girls, all i really do is post in the journal thingie--but i could do that for free most anywhere else.
at this point i'm just here to feel like a part of something. and i dont really even feel that anymore.

bugger.
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i just got done watching the infomercial for the ultimate dance collection...i feel like i'm wasting time here in normal. like i should be in a night club that features franky goes to hollywood and everyone is trying their hardest to defy social norms. why can't i move to new york now... maybe i should try to go to school there. i never really thought...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
akasnuggles:
the think about film making is the audience only sees what you want em to see. you draw the eye, you know? it's a really kinda forceful manipulation.
that and i like the editing process.
who knows, if i fail at this, i might become a playwrite.

how was the nil8 show, btw?

[Edited on Oct 09, 2005 8:47PM]
akasnuggles:
six hours away? that's it? you pussy--you should have went!

here's a crappy low-res thing i did with Basement Show by good ol Nil8. the synching is a little off, and it's mostly snap/slam editing, but it has this really nice Window Licker tag in the front that i'm kinda proud of.
or, as proud as i can be of a shitty low-res thing.
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yeah for paydays!!! now i can go back and write more checks to cover all the other checks that bounced.
akasnuggles:
aaah, payday--that explains the steak, yo.
and fuck a bounced check, anyway.
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yeah for me, last night i missed the party, instead i went to a back yard fire with the veterns, and at first there was all this stuff about boys vs, girls, then all the girls left except for me. then i stayed and drak way too much, but i did n't try to have sex with any one....even though bradly was there, which lead...
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akasnuggles:
what does it mean when your sex dreams are no longer sexy?[/I[
i dont think it means anything. or i hope it doesnt mean anything. i mean, i've had weird sex dreams where i was fucking a cabinet for christ sake.
i dont think the meaning of dreams are "what they're about" as much as how you feel about whatevers going on. or whatever.
akasnuggles:
me too thats all i'm saying, we should pool our collective loathing
misery loves company, i guess.
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i don't ever want to go out again.....
this boy that i thought was "interested" was ....not, he was all over this other girl tonight, and then i realized that i've been barking up the wrong tree. this is what happens when i try to date boys that are uber young...( just turned 21) .

i feel angry and lonely and dissapointed. and i still...
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akasnuggles:
haha! you said "uber"--yr spending too much time with the younguns.

netflix Bug...now.
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who doesn't like ass sex?!?!?!
I have an appointment book and definite goals that will take up my time. i like this. i like keeping busy..i don't know if it just takes my mind off the other stuff i have to think about, or its just fun to have something to do. today i have a late night apointment with with a super groovy girl,...
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i saw the movie crash today, it made me think of several things,....
i like hip hop music, but it only collects and articulates the wrongs of racial injustice,
i have a friend named bradly who is always spouting off about...whatever. , you can check him out at www.robothell.com,
but all of these things just point out the problems and their symptomns.
no one ever...
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i'm throwing a fit, i'm laying in bed with the blankets pulled over my head kicking and screaming "i don't want to get out of bed, i don't want to go to school!!!" i hate world art, and philosphy!!! i don't want to go.

last night i had a study group for the gre which i will be taking in october. any pointers,

i feel...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
akasnuggles:
i actually get up three hours before i need to get up just to go back to sleep.

i still get test anxiety for no apparent reason.

oh, i got that meatplow disc today, give it to ya saturday.

[Edited on Sep 22, 2005 10:23PM]
propaganda4u:
The GRE sucks. I am not good at that those tests, and it showed. Take a class. Everyone that I know that did well took the damned expensive class.