phoenix_inc

Another Seamless Transistion...

I feel as if another change is in the midst. Afterall, its inevitable. I feel different within myself. I feel indifferent to the people I've lost (in the moving on way, not the funeral way). I feel a little more awake. I hear my voice and its different. I look at my skin and eyes, its all the same.

How can you define these changes? Can you pinpoint them to a specific event or time when this occurred? I sure as fuck cant, but I am trying to figure it out anyways.

I want to give up everything, but still go further. I feel stuck but still progressing.

What is going on with me? Why can I not be self-aware? I dont think anyone is or can be, but I want to be.

I also feel this knife in my back (yes, metaphorically speaking) and I feel the loss that has resulted of it. I am sure I will be seeing the owner of that knife in hell.

I feel hunger (no, the real hunger this time around) and so I will end here.

There really is no form to this journal except my thoughts, some to be interpreted, some laid out for you. Either way, this is how I stand and this is how I will continue til my next change...and I hope its soon.