peaches

Well, it turned out to be the pills. The short of breath, the thing that made my cardio hard to keep up was all due to the pills i was taking. I didn't take it on Friday and went to the gym. I worked out fine. If i wasn't so sore i could've gone for a whole hour. I was only able to do 45 min and my legs were so tired after that. I still didn't feel like i was able to release all my stress enough. So i sat at my balcony and watched the horizon and listened to Billy Holiday and just relaxed. I just needed to take a break and enjoy the moment. But given the fact that i realized that it was the pills that affected my breathing i realized i need to stop taking them. But i need to stop slowly cuz there could be some serious side effects if i just discontinue. All weekend i didn't take them and today i feel sooooo tired. My eyes are closing on me at work and i feel like i had to drag myself out of bed. I had good sleep. I slept at around 10ish so i know i had good sleep.

Yesturday i went to go visit Pookey's grandpa. He was diagnosed with stomach cancer. He looked terrible. Just a couple months ago he was doing great! Now he's bed bound. He needs an O2 machine to help him breathe. He looked so weak but you can tell he doesn't want to give up. Pookey's grandma has always seemed to suffer from depression but now she looks numb. Like she can't feel pain or joy. I felt bad for Pookey because i didn't know how to cheer him up. I know how tough it is but i hate to see him like that. Just last year his other grandma passed away. She had cancer in her uterus. She didn't want to go through chemo so she passed away in her home. I remember they recieved a phone call saying that she was very ill and his parents were going to rush that very same night to go see her. Before they could leave they recieved another phone call stating that she passed away. I don't know how to comfort him. I can't say its going to be okay because that doesn't help. How will it be okay? idk? Being okay is if she/he gets better and things go back to normal. The only thing i can say is that at least they won't be in any pain. But i feel like he needs to hear more than that.

I also went to go visit my grandpa afterwards. He was telling me he fell off a chair and had a bump on his head. So i tried to comfort him and see what i can do for him. He is also ill. The doctors say his Potassium is high. He's always throwing up and seems to be depressed. I would too if i realized how fucked up the family turned out to be after i tried my best to raise everyone properly. But the only thing i can do is show him that some members of the family aren't as bad as the rest. He enjoys comming over my place. I have a fountain at my apartments. It looks like a park so its very relaxing. He likes to sit there all the time. And he always enjoys Pookey's parents' company so i'm planning to do something for father's day. Hopefully we all get together and have a BBQ or something that would be nice. So i invited my grandpa and he said he would go if my aunt takes him or if my mom picks him up. I told him that i would personally pick him up if i had to and he got really happy. I saw him smile and that made me really happy to know i can brighten his day even for a bit . I had to leave early because i had to drop off a camera for a girl that got inked up at my place on saturday. So that sucked i couldn't hang around very long .

So as we drove down Whittier Blvd. we saw all those crazy Laker fans. lol fucking cops were pulling ppl over like crazy! lol I'm glad ppl had a blast though. It seemed like 4th of July! lol

So remember the birds i was working on? Well they turned out pretty bad ass! Check em out!

Not the best picture in the world but the original was accidently erased and we have to settle with this one for now. I'll post another one once it heals. Enjoy!