I'm really trying to get used to the idea of not talking to you

I'm trying to get used to the reality of being forced to stalk your profiles until you want to talk

I'm trying to get used to the idea of you not being around

I've got to get used to the idea you never want to be around...
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I don't want to be right

I don't want to be wrong

I just want us to be happy

I just want 'us' to work

Hook your arm into mine

And let's away from this madness

But if you are wont to such fancy and do not flee it

I'll suffer it no longer nor you to my foolishness

I'm starting to truly despair that helping people is causing me to fail at finding a lover or partner. And that the only way is to set empathy aside and just claim one. It doesn't help that my only girlfriend.. I had no intention of being her friend. I just accepted her as a responsibility and did everything I could to help her...
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I finally got it!
The story of how I got the Crux and finally upgraded is longer than I care to l write about in detail but the short version is that I didn't want the gun to begin with. What what what?! But since I got it unexpectedly anyway, and managed to upgrade it, it is worth it? Sort of.
Well, I mean...
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Because I thought it was a promise that I couldn't keep. I know that I could keep it and I have proven to myself that I can.

But though I tell her daily that I love her and would want more than anything for her to by my wife, so that we can begin to make plans to unite and share our lives, to...
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Weird. I guess no videos are getting uploaded to the site. That sucks. Tried to post one just to see but nothing new in 5 days. 😩

So after the last, which was the email that I sent to her... there's more.

--And that email was hard enough to send to her in the first place,

I said to her 'I'm done'. That's all. nothing more to it than that.. Just 'I'm done'.

She replied that if I was done then so was she. What had happened was...
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Darling it's cold outside

Oh it's so cold out here tonight

Well I'm here freezing in the dark

And your loves a fading spark

Darling it's cold outside

Oh it's so cold out here tonight

You're in there having quite a lark

And my car won't even start

Darling it's cold outside

Oh its so cold out...
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When you're talking to the husband and without an ounce of emnity he's like, so will you try pursue to my wife? And I'm like, even despite myself, obviously i would. But due to circumstances it would be impossible. But even practically i couldn't think about it. They bring up Tinder instead and I'm like that wouldn't even help...
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lzim:
But on the other hand, he did call me Hitler so i suppose we can't be friends. 

Months have gone by and while she's still very affectionate, honest and awesome.. I still refuse to believe she's single. But the last thing she said was 'new years with her girlfriend'.. I just need friends right now though and blew the few I have off due to work. But can't help myself for wanting her all to myself you know? I...
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