My soul is famished. I hunger for some little crumb of intimate contact from someone else. It's been nearly four months since I even kissed anyone passionately. I'm wasting away. This isn't the longest fast I've been on, but after such a long time of fruitful abundance, this short famine seems particularly rough.
I like to acknowledge their existence. So often they are ignored to the point of almost getting run over. When my sister was a flagger for a construction company, she was nearly hit on a daily basis and got sun poisoning once and severe dehydration a couple times.
I just like to wave to say, "hey - I see you there. Thanks for letting me know what's up."
It's hard to stand up straight when you world is continuously turned topsy-turvy.
Yesterday I experienced one of those conversations that totally blindsides you, and leaves you questioning just where your life is going. Out of a bit of depression, and a longing to talk to someone special, I called one of my former girlfriends with whom I'm still on friendly terms. She was one... Read More
Things are improving slowly. I need to clear up things for myself. Deal with issues I have.
It's been a good run. I've enjoyed what this site had, people I've met, and the things I've done, but I think I've got to step away from this site. I'm going to let my account expire in May. I'll be on here occasionally from now till then.... Read More
Fuck! It hurts. I can't listen to music, every stupid song reminds me of her, even the ones I don't like. It's ironic how the songs or artists you shared seem to be the ones that play the most often. I can't watch movies, because I find some connection there that seemingly applies to us. If only I did this more when we were together.... Read More
Well thats sad.
Im sorry youre feeling that way! I am usually really good at advice, but never have been good at the heartbreak side of it... Time somehow always does heal though.
I dont know the story... but I hope it gets better
Okay, I take back the first part; I do have words of wisdom:
First off, don't let this destroy you. I mean, I'm not gonna tell you not to wallow; by all means, do! Play it over and over in your head and cry a lot, bawl at the stupidest songs, let the night get to you -- it's the only way your brain is going to work through it all -- but keep doing that daytime stuff, don't let the misery take over completely. Time heals all wounds, so the saying goes. Yadda, yadda...
But here's the gem/pearl/whatever among my somethings of wisdom: it wasn't meant to be. Now, I don't mean that in the astrological or will-of-the-gods sort of way -- but if Fate is what you're into, then grab hold of that for all it's worth -- rather I mean the basic human psychology and odd twists of the cosmos sort of way. Here, let me tell you a story...
Nearly every woman I've dated I thought was "The One". Yeah, I know... But the thing was, I should have known, because the relationships were always such a struggle; I mean, I had to really fight to get those women to stick with me. But then one day I meet this lovely lady and we start dating and it's like KAPOW! we just fall into each other. There's no struggle. There's no fight to keep her. She wants to be with me. She says all the right things. She does all the right things. She's perfect. And she tells me she loves me. I start daydreaming about how happy and perfect my life finally is going to be.
And then she was gone. Just like that. Poof... And sometime the next year she was married to somebody else. I couldn't believe it. For months after she first left I walked around in a daze, thinking maybe it was just some mistake, that she would come back. I second-guessed myself; if only I'd done this or said such-n-such. I went through all the stages of grief. Eventually I was angry. I wanted to destroy the world; that's how bad I felt.
And eventually, finally, I accepted it. It wasn't meant to be. Something caused her to reexamine the relationship, and then to move on. She's still married to the guy; and I met and married TheFox. In your case, she met someone else. That sucks. That really sucks. But would you have her stay?
We're like puzzle pieces, our personalities and our relationships. Some are deceptively close in fit, but still not quite right. Some people are fine with not quite right. Some people aren't. Better to find out before you make something legally binding. Two years was it? That's a long time by modern standards. Your pain is valid. So caress your misery right now, but keep an eye to the dawn, to the horizon. There are other fish in the sea. I hate that saying, but it's true. Keep your chin up. If we are anything, we humans, it is persistent (really; I can even give you evolutionary anthropological proof! )
Anywho, if I were in Asheville I'd take you out for a beer and a good cry. Take care.
I don't know what to do. I feel so alone now. Warning ! This next rant is about relationships, so be careful it might get sappy. I'm just posting this because it's two in the morning and I can't sleep. I'm not writing this to get pity, I just need to get things off my chest.
Oh sweetie I am so sorry. I know getting back on the horse, swimming and looking for those other fish in the sea just seems so daunting.
You are one hell of a catch, and trust me when I say this was HER loss. She was good practice, and I just know when you are not looking or climbing back on, the right one will be there waiting to get noticed.
We love you so hang on!!
And thank you for the comment on my braces removal.
The only way I can figure I got it is that Marksy has been cutting down brush and stumps and stuff for the new disc golf course, it got on his clothes or hands and then got on me.
It only takes a minuscule drop of urushiol to cause a rash.
But the thing was, I should have known, because the relationships were always such a struggle; I mean, I had to really fight to get those women to stick with me. But then one day I meet this lovely lady and we start dating and it's like KAPOW! we just fall into each other. There's no struggle. There's no fight to keep her. She wants to be with me. She says all the right things. She does all the right things. She's perfect. And she tells me she loves me. I start daydreaming about how happy and perfect my life finally is going to be.
I couldn't believe it. For months after she first left I walked around in a daze, thinking maybe it was just some mistake, that she would come back. I second-guessed myself; if only I'd done this or said such-n-such. I went through all the stages of grief. Eventually I was angry. I wanted to destroy the world; that's how bad I felt.
)
I can't think of a damn thing to say, but I am thinking of ya...