paranoia

They should make a pill that makes you completly numb to every emotion there is. Sure there wouldnt be the good ones like hapiness and love, but at least there wouldn't be pain.

I came to the realization today that I am completly and utterly alone. The friends that I thought I had arent really my friends, they are just people who hang around me waiting for the other person whom I thought was my friend to arrive. The person whom I assumed was my friend was, until I ran out of money to give her. Then shw just moved on to the next thing that would divert her from reality. I have no friends. I am alone at work, at home, and every place in between. The man whom I love dearly is miles away from me and has no way to save me from this miserable hell that I am currently living in. I want to sleep but I can't. I'm tired of being in this stupid depressive state but I have no way to pull myself out. God, what I wouldn't give for a pair of wings. I'd just fly away from here, fly until I didnt care anymore, fly until I was somehwere where people didn't know me, fly until I could be accepted once again. Just fly...