I am so frustrated.
I have been planning to go to Havana for a month and now at the last minute I can't go. I planned my whole day around it, got a new outfit together, got superexcited and I feel really let down and bitter about it now. Some of you know that my bf who I live with is disabled and walks with a cane. He was excited to go too and even got a babysitter for the whole night and planned to use his daughter's car because it gets better gas mileage, but when I got home at about 8:30, he was asleep. I woke him and said we should get ready to go, but he said he didn't feel like it, that he had overdone it making dinner and hurt too much. He fell back to sleep. Now I have never failed to understand his condition and do almost everything for him, but I can't help but feel slighted here. He's known about it for a long time and I've been making sure that he takes it easy all week so he would be up for the trip. He knew how important it was to me and the people I was so excited to meet, etc. and then just blew it off and fell right back to sleep without even an apology. It's really not like him, but I have noticed over the course of our relationship things have been changing gradually. I've never had a problem doing anything for him. I'm the only one who works, I do all the housework and yardwork and take care of his son. I'm looking for a second job and putting a tattoo apprenticeship on hold so i can pay all the household bills and generally just make sure that he doesn't have to do anything but lie in bed all day, take vicodin and not hurt his back any more than it is.This is not to say that he doesn't do anything for me, I'm just saying I carry the weight in most instances and have never complained once. It's just when things like this happen I can't help but wonder if I'm being taken advantage of. I love him, but it's getting hard to do everything and still maintain a social life and anyone who knows me knows that my friends are important to me. It kills me to think I've lost touch with some of them like I have and I just keep thinking I'll have to call so-and-so tomorrow only to have another whirlwind day, fall into bed exhausted and realise it's too late to call anyone. This is no martyr's syndrome or anything, I made my bed and as I said, I love him and want to marry him someday. I just needed to vent. I really miss my old life sometimes.
I have been planning to go to Havana for a month and now at the last minute I can't go. I planned my whole day around it, got a new outfit together, got superexcited and I feel really let down and bitter about it now. Some of you know that my bf who I live with is disabled and walks with a cane. He was excited to go too and even got a babysitter for the whole night and planned to use his daughter's car because it gets better gas mileage, but when I got home at about 8:30, he was asleep. I woke him and said we should get ready to go, but he said he didn't feel like it, that he had overdone it making dinner and hurt too much. He fell back to sleep. Now I have never failed to understand his condition and do almost everything for him, but I can't help but feel slighted here. He's known about it for a long time and I've been making sure that he takes it easy all week so he would be up for the trip. He knew how important it was to me and the people I was so excited to meet, etc. and then just blew it off and fell right back to sleep without even an apology. It's really not like him, but I have noticed over the course of our relationship things have been changing gradually. I've never had a problem doing anything for him. I'm the only one who works, I do all the housework and yardwork and take care of his son. I'm looking for a second job and putting a tattoo apprenticeship on hold so i can pay all the household bills and generally just make sure that he doesn't have to do anything but lie in bed all day, take vicodin and not hurt his back any more than it is.This is not to say that he doesn't do anything for me, I'm just saying I carry the weight in most instances and have never complained once. It's just when things like this happen I can't help but wonder if I'm being taken advantage of. I love him, but it's getting hard to do everything and still maintain a social life and anyone who knows me knows that my friends are important to me. It kills me to think I've lost touch with some of them like I have and I just keep thinking I'll have to call so-and-so tomorrow only to have another whirlwind day, fall into bed exhausted and realise it's too late to call anyone. This is no martyr's syndrome or anything, I made my bed and as I said, I love him and want to marry him someday. I just needed to vent. I really miss my old life sometimes.
The boy does this too, and I can't exactly drive to Columbus on a temp (wellllllllll I coullllllld but I'm black) which means I'd be locked up quick.
Plus I got the keys to my new place yesterday so I'm moving (as I type this..I'm on a small break)
AND I'm completly broke.
We can do something sometime soon, my car does decent with gas. (it's a fucking ford escort) but I put a lot of $$ to fix that piece so it's allllllllllllllllright.