After 40 or so years of immersion in the conservative religious world, I woke up a few years ago. I had always thought a little different, talked a little different, felt a little different. But it never germinated, never flourished or grew to the point it could break the armor built up around me. When the shell finally came off, I didn't believe in any of the things I had been taught, but I was twenty years into a wife and family that still believed what I had believed. Lots of people react to a change like that by explosively, surgically detaching themselves from their old lives. I'd seen it a few times and knew I couldn't do that. So we did the best we could, and recrafted our relationships to handle our new differences.
So far, I think we are doing pretty all right. But there are still a lot of things I want to explore, learn about,and contribute to. I know I'll never be able to completely recapture all the experiences I missed out on, had I grown up truer to my core. But in my writing I can at least vicariously explore some of the "might have beens". SG captures a style and a peace with so many things that resonated with me at a young age, but would have been completely off limits to the world I grew up in. More importantly, the lives and the stories here are teaching me the vocabulary and culture I need for the characters I am creating. Through them, I hope to work through things I feel completely different about now, but would be hurtful to people I care about to try and experience in my real life.
So thanks in advance to all you who contribute a piece of your lives here. Your stories are challenging, disruptive, hopeful and prophetic. I look forward to creating some of my own.