eating birthday cake. and no i don't know anybody who's having a birthday. me and my buddy decided we needed cake though. damn good. hopefully we'll do something fun tonight.
omd.
omd.
pooped. just got done at the gym. had my best night in a while. i've been doing drop-sets on atleast one exercise a night, which is hell, but hits helped me get through some plateaus. now its off to my homegroup meeting. i was assured by a certain ex-girlfriend that she wouldn't be there tonight.
not much else to update. just looking forward to having...
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not much else to update. just looking forward to having...
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ferrara:
glad to see everything is back on track. Enjoy your weekend 
evilmonkeymuffin:
Have a grand ole weekend.
Peace!
Peace!
oww. my stomach is killing me. i hate protein shakes. i've been eating 1.5 grams of protein per pound of bodyweight a day for 2-3 months now. its starting to get really old. thats a lot of protein (240g). i mean, its paying off and everything, i've definitely put on a lot of muscle, its just hard to keep doing it when half the time...
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user304975207:
good for you replacing bad things with the good. 
blah blah blah. boring ass day. just got back from coffee with a friend. i feel that i'm stuck in neutral. i have moments of extreme motivation that are followed by hours of complacency.
the only thing that is exciting to me right now is working out and the prospects of joining a new band in the near future. i'd settle for just about anything...
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the only thing that is exciting to me right now is working out and the prospects of joining a new band in the near future. i'd settle for just about anything...
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VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
posthummusly:
let me know what you play. my buddy's band was looking for some people but i dont know what exactly for. they are straight up punk like strung out and shit. and they are actually pretty damn good. anyway ill talk to him and see what he is looking for.
user304975207:
why is it so much easier to remember the negative things?
hmm. i've been slacking on updates, so here goes.
on sunday pretty much all i did was go to church. well actually thats not true. i led an aa meeting at a local crisis center. it was the first time i'd been there and boy was there some pain to be seen. pretty much everyone there was just coming off a recent suicide attempt, which...
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on sunday pretty much all i did was go to church. well actually thats not true. i led an aa meeting at a local crisis center. it was the first time i'd been there and boy was there some pain to be seen. pretty much everyone there was just coming off a recent suicide attempt, which...
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boy did the shit hit the fan last night. after i'd just started feeling better about the girl mess, guess who shows up at the AA meeting i go to friday night with the dude she was seeing behind my back? man, i was pissed. she sent me a text message later saying she was sorry and that she didn't know that i went to...
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evilmonkeymuffin:
That bites.
Relationships are a tonne of work especially in early recovery.
Keep the Faith brother!
Relationships are a tonne of work especially in early recovery.
Keep the Faith brother!
ahh. finally went to the gym again today. i'd taken off the past 4 days. feel MUCH better now. endorphins rule! anywho, gotta go to sleep so i can get up early tomorrow and see my therapist. should be fun. lots to talk about.
just got done watching the zao "lesser lights of heaven" dvd. pretty damned awesome! can't wait to see them next month....
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just got done watching the zao "lesser lights of heaven" dvd. pretty damned awesome! can't wait to see them next month....
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venna:
Yes, endorphins are amazing. Though I drag my ass to the gym every other day, I never regret it afterwards.
And what DVD are you watching exactly? Never heard of it....
And what DVD are you watching exactly? Never heard of it....
finally. i feel like i'm turning the corner. actually slept last night. feeling hungry again. hopefully this will last. i'm so happy to have the friends around me that i do.
time to get moving.
omd.
time to get moving.
omd.
ferrara:
With the right kinda friends, all your little problems will seem less significant.. way to go.. keep moving!! 
not much has changed.
still feeling hurt and let-down. i know that will go away with time, but right now it sucks. i'm still stuck in that place where everything i see or hear reminds me of her. so damn cliche but its true and i hate it.
atleast i can feel. there was a time not too long ago when i was completely devoid...
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still feeling hurt and let-down. i know that will go away with time, but right now it sucks. i'm still stuck in that place where everything i see or hear reminds me of her. so damn cliche but its true and i hate it.
atleast i can feel. there was a time not too long ago when i was completely devoid...
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VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
venna:
Hey there, thanks for the add. Sorry about your girl situation.....In any event, I know how you feel and have been through the same thing. It'll get better. 
ferrara:
Its better feeling like this now, then living any longer in the ingnorance that she is seeing someone else. PS thanks for the add.. it was pretty obvious I was a SG loner girl 
ahh. where do i begin.
girl update. before i left for nashville i talked to (i never know exactly what to call her.. girlfriend, ex or) the girl. we weren't supposed to be talking, atleast that was the plan, but of course we didn't stick to it. as i posted before she said she wasn't ready to commit to a relationship right now, and realistically...
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girl update. before i left for nashville i talked to (i never know exactly what to call her.. girlfriend, ex or) the girl. we weren't supposed to be talking, atleast that was the plan, but of course we didn't stick to it. as i posted before she said she wasn't ready to commit to a relationship right now, and realistically...
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buzzhum:
Yea man..thats tough. Facts being facts...evryones kind of fucked up from something somehow. I'm right here in the mix.
My last GF has been slowly warming up to me. Everyone that knew us..and I do mesan EVRYONE that knew us woudl say I'm insane for even entertaining the idea. They are probably right. IT was never really done in my head though...we sort of blew a gasget and called it over.
As the idea of her/us becomes a little (if only a tad) more of a reality, the issues and challenges that were there become more apprent again. You know, distance makes the heart grow fonder. The sad reality is love is not enough. I can say (but don't in places he can see it) that I love her.
The twist...Shes an awsome person that got the shaft as a child. She so pretty inside and out...amazingly hot in fact. Shes afraid though that if people notice her for that, that they will find out how broken she is..and all the crushingly terrible things that happened to her will be found out.
It breaks my heart.
So she has all these control features in place to make sure this never happens. I don't know if I have it in me to navigate these waters...I don't know if those waters are navigateable. Even the notion that shes intrested in trying us again is doen vaguly and is presented in a way that she coudl turn on me and say that I misuderstood what she was saying...that she simply still cares for me and wanted me to knwo....etc.
I didn't mean to get as in depth. Much of this is very new as of this week and then she wrote last night...so its really fresh in my head.
See you tomorrow perhaps? Try to come say hi if you can.
My last GF has been slowly warming up to me. Everyone that knew us..and I do mesan EVRYONE that knew us woudl say I'm insane for even entertaining the idea. They are probably right. IT was never really done in my head though...we sort of blew a gasget and called it over.
As the idea of her/us becomes a little (if only a tad) more of a reality, the issues and challenges that were there become more apprent again. You know, distance makes the heart grow fonder. The sad reality is love is not enough. I can say (but don't in places he can see it) that I love her.
The twist...Shes an awsome person that got the shaft as a child. She so pretty inside and out...amazingly hot in fact. Shes afraid though that if people notice her for that, that they will find out how broken she is..and all the crushingly terrible things that happened to her will be found out.
It breaks my heart.
So she has all these control features in place to make sure this never happens. I don't know if I have it in me to navigate these waters...I don't know if those waters are navigateable. Even the notion that shes intrested in trying us again is doen vaguly and is presented in a way that she coudl turn on me and say that I misuderstood what she was saying...that she simply still cares for me and wanted me to knwo....etc.
I didn't mean to get as in depth. Much of this is very new as of this week and then she wrote last night...so its really fresh in my head.
See you tomorrow perhaps? Try to come say hi if you can.
i'm in nashvegas for the weekend. hope everyone has a great weekend. stay safe.
omd.
omd.
_bossanova_:
What's there to do in Nashville? I always think Memphis is much more appealing, if you have to be in Tennessee.
i got approved to got visit my dad's house in nashville this weekend. i'm really looking forward to going, its been over six months since i've been there. i've already planned out some meetings to go to while i'm there, so that should be fun. i'm looking forward to getting some of my things that have been in storage there since i left. i'm also...
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