Body image

63

So you guys. Lately I've been really stressed out about my body. I have stomach chub that just won't go away. Stretch marks from pregnancies. Now I have found my first wrinkles on my face too. Being 31 has been frustrating. My body is taking longer to get in shape, my face is showing signs of aging. Ugh. I really want Botox.

I'm usually saying people should stay as natural aa can be. but lately I just feel like I want to look like these young girls on insta.

I also feel like i waisted ten tears in addiction where I could have been in shape and working on my modeling dreams. So now I gotta make it work like now you know? Now that I'm clear and sober, and ready to do it. I feel like it has to be great this year or I've lost. I feel like I'll be too old and I will have failed.

My boobs are so big it throws my back out every few days. I'm saving up money so I can hopefully get a breast reduction. It's just all hitting at once because I feel like alot of these body image things were hidden from me in my addiction. I just wasn't thinking about it. Now it's like I feel I have a big mess to clean up.

If I can just make it through cosmetology school and start working I can start to save up and do these things. But until then I just feel like I'll be ugly until that happens. The one thing I can control is losing weight. So I'm running constantly. But I look at Instagram daily and I'm just put down so much by how beautiful and perfect all these other girls are. I try so hard to be an inspiration to women to love themselves, and accept their bodies, when here I am just waiting to get Botox and plump up my lips. I hate my tummy Chub. Like a want to cut it off.

I feel like insta is making my insecurities bigger and more at the for front. You know this is my problem but then it got me thinking of a more important topic. My daughter! and now I'm really scared for my daughter growing up with social media. Are there any other moms out there who are worried about what it's going to be like for their kids growing up on the spot light like this? If I'm feeling all these insecurities that I normally don't.....and I'm usually a strong woman pushing for body acceptance, but now I just want to look like the rest of them. How is my daughter, and your daughter, going to be able to resist? And love who they are?

Concerned mother and feeling ugly and wishing i was 5 years younger.

VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
venenumliscens:
First off. you are beautiful and your body is amazing.  You absolutely can not compare yourself to other people especially not on INstagram.  They are them and you are you.  For all those ladies on there that you want to compare yourself to. remember, there is always going to be someone out there that prefers you over them.  It's a persons preference, not a set type.
shadowbard:
First (Big Hug!)! I have struggle ALL of my life with body image; it is an emotional roller coaster and that is being kind! It takes a lot in this image obsessed society to truly love yourself for who are warts, tummy flab, man-boobs, stretch marks, and all. When I look at you I see a woman, a beautiful, vital human being, who has been through a lot and is all the more beautiful because you're still here! Give yourself a break, and log as you are healthy the little tummy bump really doesn't matter...Love yourself no matter what, throw off the bonds of societies warped body images and start to enjoy life as your authentic self!

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