This is a rambling on being socially inept and awkward. Have you noticed that you can't read social cues? Anything from moments during a conversation with a friend or that cute girl looking at you. Thoughts course through me like, does this person really give a shit when they are talking to me? Is that girl checking me out? I can't freaking tell at all. Is this person being sarcastic or are they angry? I mean, I can't do this stuff. My brain seems to function in a different plane at times than what seems to be a vast majority of the people I meet.
Coming through a large and over decade long battle with Social Anxiety has taught me that I don't understand social interaction above like a child's level. I tend to avoid people because I can't figure them out. As far as logic is concerned, that's kinda all my brain does. This may be due to also being introverted and feeling like people need to approach me, so I can in a sense judge if I want them around. You take a guess how often that occurs. Pretty much once a year at best.
This is probably one of the biggest reasons I don't have confidence with women. I am poor at getting "it," shall we say. One of the components of this issue is that because I am still working through my social anxiety on a day by day basis is that I seriously have obsessive thoughts of women not liking me. Or that they flat out can't possibly like me in any circumstance. They can say they want friendship, then not say a word to me for months. I mean, what the hell is this? It's not just about dating...I seriously can't connect at all with women.
Of course, this isn't the only issue. When the only people that ever talk to you is your parents on a regular basis, you start to think maybe people really don't like you. Socially, I have never really fit in with people. Even as a small child I often kept to myself and really didn't have friends. Hell, I honestly never really had friends until I was in my early to mid twenties. And more of them seem to be online friends than anything else. Basically, I am still stuck trying to figure out friendships at 28 whereas most people I know seem to have had that figured out before 10. At least that's how it seems.
Oh social ineptitude, you are a bearer of many bad things.
Coming through a large and over decade long battle with Social Anxiety has taught me that I don't understand social interaction above like a child's level. I tend to avoid people because I can't figure them out. As far as logic is concerned, that's kinda all my brain does. This may be due to also being introverted and feeling like people need to approach me, so I can in a sense judge if I want them around. You take a guess how often that occurs. Pretty much once a year at best.
This is probably one of the biggest reasons I don't have confidence with women. I am poor at getting "it," shall we say. One of the components of this issue is that because I am still working through my social anxiety on a day by day basis is that I seriously have obsessive thoughts of women not liking me. Or that they flat out can't possibly like me in any circumstance. They can say they want friendship, then not say a word to me for months. I mean, what the hell is this? It's not just about dating...I seriously can't connect at all with women.
Of course, this isn't the only issue. When the only people that ever talk to you is your parents on a regular basis, you start to think maybe people really don't like you. Socially, I have never really fit in with people. Even as a small child I often kept to myself and really didn't have friends. Hell, I honestly never really had friends until I was in my early to mid twenties. And more of them seem to be online friends than anything else. Basically, I am still stuck trying to figure out friendships at 28 whereas most people I know seem to have had that figured out before 10. At least that's how it seems.
Oh social ineptitude, you are a bearer of many bad things.
thistle:
Social cues are hard to read. For most people practice helps. Good luck with the anxiety - it can be crippling, I know.