Good Morning Folks,
Today I'm introducing another semi-regular feature here at the "Sephiroth Show" that I hope you will all enjoy the "OneTrueBookReview" but frst aword from our new sponsor...
(Fade in. On screen we see two young hipsters, one male, one female. They're looking at somthing in front of them, the hip young male is totally captivated, the hip young female, is not..)
Hip Young Male: "Damn, isn't that cool, isn't that shit fuckin' amazing!"
Hip Young Female (putting a Marlboro Red in her mouth and lighting it): Uhh... I guess... but, umm... what the fuck is it?
(Cue flashing colors, grinding rock music, and a loud annoying annoucer)
Annoying Annoucer (loudly): "Hey there! Hey There!! HEY THERE!!!
(The two hipsters just kind of look around for a second, indifferent. [dramatic pause...])
AA (really loud): Are you tired of other Companies' old shit?! How about their new shit?! Hell, are you tired of our Company's old shit?!
HYM: Yeah, I guess so.
AA (Yelling): Well Then Try Our !NEW! Shit!
HYF (Still smoking, getting irritated): What the fuck is it?
AA (A little quieter but still loud): Teams of Scientists have been sudying your brain waves...
HYF: Huh?
AA (Yelling Really LOUD): 24 hours a day. (Even LOUDER) 7 days a week ! (SCREAMING) 365 Days A Year !! (Screaming So LOUDLY, He's On The Verge Of An Aneurysm) For Over Two Years !!!
HYF (Pulling cigarette from her mouth, now pissed): What the FUCK! are you talking about!?
AA (Catching his breath, then begins to again at decibels unheard of): "A PRODUCT THAT'S 100% COOLER THAN THEIR OLD SHIT... 75% HIPPER THAN THIER NEW SHIT...AND 50% MORE AMAZING THAN OUR OLD SHIT...ISN'T IT FUCKING AMAZING?!!!"
(The product is shown for less than a second)
HYM (Eyes glazed over, completely drawn into the hype): "Yeah man, that's sooo fucking cool."
HYF (Unfazed by hype, just completely annoyed with announcer, flicks her cigarette in the general direction of his voice): But What The FUCK! IS It?!"
AA (Screaming So LOUDLY, He Finally Has His Aneurysm): "I CAN'T TELL YOU!!! AHHHHHGGGGHHHH!!!!! (Sound of body hitting the floor followed by an overly long dramatic pause..........The Hipsters look around, and then walk away...Fade to black)
Soft Voiceover: "Our New Shit...Sold where ever our Old Shit was sold. (New from MateriCo. Inc.)
Well, thank you very much MateriCo. I'll be sure to run out and buy one.. some.. it... them... whatever. Anyway it's now time for the "OneTrueBookReview", and here's how I judge the book:
I will be judging based on four catagories, ranging from one to five points, these catagories bieng -
Story - The overall plot, and "storytelling" of the book.
Dialogue - If I just think the dialogue is just way to cheesy or not.
Characterization - How well the character fits into the story, and their dialogue
Originality - A tough call, very subjective. Here's how this one works, in my opinion the most of the last truly great original works of fiction were written some time before we put the letters A.D. after the dates, so what you find today is stories where people, take a piece from here, and take a piece from there, and put their own spin on it, but its still original its all in how you spin it, so unless it's outright blatant, I give them the points.
I also have a fifth catagory a reviewer slant this is how well I personally enjoyed the book it's also on a one to five scale, but because it's a slant, the points get multiplied by 1.25.
Then all five scores are added up and devided by five, the top score available can be no more than a perfect five - even including the reviewers slant.
And now wit that out of the way I review for you...
"Star Wars" - By George Lucas
This one will be real short...
Story - Well, I think that most of us know the plot, but always amazes me here is Lucas' storytelling ability. Score: 5pts
Dialogue - The dialogue is quite different than the movie, still just as cheesy, but for a "Space Opera" it works (And no "whining" to get in the way). Score:4pts
Characterization - The characters are just as vibrant as their movie counterparts, actually Tarkin comes off as quite a bit more evil in the book. Score:5pts
Originality - Hey I think It's very original, yes many of the thematic elements he got elsewhere, but I love Jedi. Score:4.25pts
Reviewer Slant - I absolutely love this book, but hey I'm a "Star Wars" nut so there's no surprise there. Score:5pts
Final Score:4.9 out of 5 (almost perfect)
Final Thoughts: Ok, some of you will say I'm totally wrong, but how many of you have actually picked up the book lately and read it? When WAS the last time you read it? Have you EVEN read it? What surpised me when I grabbed it a couple of years ago and read it after about an 8 or 9 year absence was George Lucas' grasp of story telling with the written word for "Star Wars" was even better than what he had put up on the screen, so right or wrong if the book is better than the movie, and I believe that it is, than it surely deserves the score I have just given it.
Today I'm introducing another semi-regular feature here at the "Sephiroth Show" that I hope you will all enjoy the "OneTrueBookReview" but frst aword from our new sponsor...
(Fade in. On screen we see two young hipsters, one male, one female. They're looking at somthing in front of them, the hip young male is totally captivated, the hip young female, is not..)
Hip Young Male: "Damn, isn't that cool, isn't that shit fuckin' amazing!"
Hip Young Female (putting a Marlboro Red in her mouth and lighting it): Uhh... I guess... but, umm... what the fuck is it?
(Cue flashing colors, grinding rock music, and a loud annoying annoucer)
Annoying Annoucer (loudly): "Hey there! Hey There!! HEY THERE!!!
(The two hipsters just kind of look around for a second, indifferent. [dramatic pause...])
AA (really loud): Are you tired of other Companies' old shit?! How about their new shit?! Hell, are you tired of our Company's old shit?!
HYM: Yeah, I guess so.
AA (Yelling): Well Then Try Our !NEW! Shit!
HYF (Still smoking, getting irritated): What the fuck is it?
AA (A little quieter but still loud): Teams of Scientists have been sudying your brain waves...
HYF: Huh?
AA (Yelling Really LOUD): 24 hours a day. (Even LOUDER) 7 days a week ! (SCREAMING) 365 Days A Year !! (Screaming So LOUDLY, He's On The Verge Of An Aneurysm) For Over Two Years !!!
HYF (Pulling cigarette from her mouth, now pissed): What the FUCK! are you talking about!?
AA (Catching his breath, then begins to again at decibels unheard of): "A PRODUCT THAT'S 100% COOLER THAN THEIR OLD SHIT... 75% HIPPER THAN THIER NEW SHIT...AND 50% MORE AMAZING THAN OUR OLD SHIT...ISN'T IT FUCKING AMAZING?!!!"
(The product is shown for less than a second)
HYM (Eyes glazed over, completely drawn into the hype): "Yeah man, that's sooo fucking cool."
HYF (Unfazed by hype, just completely annoyed with announcer, flicks her cigarette in the general direction of his voice): But What The FUCK! IS It?!"
AA (Screaming So LOUDLY, He Finally Has His Aneurysm): "I CAN'T TELL YOU!!! AHHHHHGGGGHHHH!!!!! (Sound of body hitting the floor followed by an overly long dramatic pause..........The Hipsters look around, and then walk away...Fade to black)
Soft Voiceover: "Our New Shit...Sold where ever our Old Shit was sold. (New from MateriCo. Inc.)
Well, thank you very much MateriCo. I'll be sure to run out and buy one.. some.. it... them... whatever. Anyway it's now time for the "OneTrueBookReview", and here's how I judge the book:
I will be judging based on four catagories, ranging from one to five points, these catagories bieng -
Story - The overall plot, and "storytelling" of the book.
Dialogue - If I just think the dialogue is just way to cheesy or not.
Characterization - How well the character fits into the story, and their dialogue
Originality - A tough call, very subjective. Here's how this one works, in my opinion the most of the last truly great original works of fiction were written some time before we put the letters A.D. after the dates, so what you find today is stories where people, take a piece from here, and take a piece from there, and put their own spin on it, but its still original its all in how you spin it, so unless it's outright blatant, I give them the points.
I also have a fifth catagory a reviewer slant this is how well I personally enjoyed the book it's also on a one to five scale, but because it's a slant, the points get multiplied by 1.25.
Then all five scores are added up and devided by five, the top score available can be no more than a perfect five - even including the reviewers slant.
And now wit that out of the way I review for you...
"Star Wars" - By George Lucas
This one will be real short...
Story - Well, I think that most of us know the plot, but always amazes me here is Lucas' storytelling ability. Score: 5pts
Dialogue - The dialogue is quite different than the movie, still just as cheesy, but for a "Space Opera" it works (And no "whining" to get in the way). Score:4pts
Characterization - The characters are just as vibrant as their movie counterparts, actually Tarkin comes off as quite a bit more evil in the book. Score:5pts
Originality - Hey I think It's very original, yes many of the thematic elements he got elsewhere, but I love Jedi. Score:4.25pts
Reviewer Slant - I absolutely love this book, but hey I'm a "Star Wars" nut so there's no surprise there. Score:5pts
Final Score:4.9 out of 5 (almost perfect)
Final Thoughts: Ok, some of you will say I'm totally wrong, but how many of you have actually picked up the book lately and read it? When WAS the last time you read it? Have you EVEN read it? What surpised me when I grabbed it a couple of years ago and read it after about an 8 or 9 year absence was George Lucas' grasp of story telling with the written word for "Star Wars" was even better than what he had put up on the screen, so right or wrong if the book is better than the movie, and I believe that it is, than it surely deserves the score I have just given it.