ohmygil

Today in a word, sucked.

So I have asthma. I'm sure I told you all about that at some point. But lately, it's gotten really bad. I can't control it, even with asthma controllers like one called Asmanex. It's not a rescue inhaler, but it's supposed to decrease my reliance on rescue inhalers.

Well, it hasn't.

In fact, my asthma feels like it's gotten worse since I started using it, but I haven't been to the doctor to talk to him about it yet. But I will, the reasoning follows.

So since I'm still using my inhaler so much, I ran out today. Which wouldn't have been so bad, but I've been having these nightly asthma attacks that are really bad. And I mean REALLY bad.

Well, after a few hours of wheezing and struggling to breathe, I texted my friend to ask if I could borrow hers. Well, as I was driving to her house (I don't know why I drove, idiocy I suppose), I started to hyper-ventilate and I stopped breathing entirely for a few seconds. I panicked and almost passed out, but I eventually calmed down, got what little breathing I could do in order, and drove my happy ass about 5 miles away, freaking out almost the whole time but trying not to let it affect me.

I finally got to her house and got to use her inhaler, but it was enough to make an already stressful day, horrid. I hate asthma, I hate having it, and I hate the fact that I have to buy expensive ass medicine for it all the time that doesn't work! Fuck this shit. Ugh.