I had a random thought today, and I felt the need to expand on it in a way similar to Deuteranopia's posts. While not nearly as funny (more like darkly twisted I guess) as his posts, or as well written, it's funny to me, and that's all that matters right?
I'm also thinking on expanding this into something else entirely, but for now, it'll do. Enjoy:
God Implicated in Senators Death
Just months before the most important bill of his life, it ended. Sen. Edward Ted Kennedy (D Mass) passed away of Brain Cancer. While tragic, people mostly side-stepped the irony that Health Cares most vocal champion succumbed to a affliction that even the best doctors couldnt cure. They just chalked it up to old age and unfortunate luck.
Or was it old age and luck? Anonymous sources implicate the one and only Creator of the Universe in the death of the last of the vaunted Kennedy brothers. For decades, assassinations have been carried out by radicals, from Lee Harvey Oswald to James Earle Ray to even John Wilkes Booth. What we have uncovered, however, is these famous murderers may have not been radicals at all, but hired guns by the forces of Heaven as a way to alter the course of American History, and possibly the World itself.
How does this relate to the death of the Massachusetts Senator? A little known term called insourcing.
Weve all heard of outsourcing, when a company hires out of their own pool of employees in an effort to save money. But this is counter-intuitive for Heaven, as human efforts to stop certain socio-political movements tend to exacerbate the problem rather than cure it.
And you know what they say, If you want something done right, do it yourself.
And thats exactly what God did. In a move of pure brilliance on the part of Glenn Beck and Sean Hannitys most famous ally, the champion for evangelical conservatives and the religious right not only got rid of progressives best chance to provide healthcare for all, he did it in the most sickly humorous way possible. Partner that with a new law in Massachusetts that prevents Governors from simply appointing a new senator (in an attempt to stop another God ally Mitt Romney from appointing a Republican to a seat), along with a rather weak candidate undoubtedly pushed forth by agents working for Yahweh for the Dems and a remarkably handsome former Cosmopolitan Centerfold in Republican Scott Brown. It was all but assured that God would get his way, he would do it in a way most humiliating for his enemies. Absolute twisted brilliance.
But what would you expect of the entity responsible for the creation of the Duck-Billed Platypus?
I'm also thinking on expanding this into something else entirely, but for now, it'll do. Enjoy:
God Implicated in Senators Death
Just months before the most important bill of his life, it ended. Sen. Edward Ted Kennedy (D Mass) passed away of Brain Cancer. While tragic, people mostly side-stepped the irony that Health Cares most vocal champion succumbed to a affliction that even the best doctors couldnt cure. They just chalked it up to old age and unfortunate luck.
Or was it old age and luck? Anonymous sources implicate the one and only Creator of the Universe in the death of the last of the vaunted Kennedy brothers. For decades, assassinations have been carried out by radicals, from Lee Harvey Oswald to James Earle Ray to even John Wilkes Booth. What we have uncovered, however, is these famous murderers may have not been radicals at all, but hired guns by the forces of Heaven as a way to alter the course of American History, and possibly the World itself.
How does this relate to the death of the Massachusetts Senator? A little known term called insourcing.
Weve all heard of outsourcing, when a company hires out of their own pool of employees in an effort to save money. But this is counter-intuitive for Heaven, as human efforts to stop certain socio-political movements tend to exacerbate the problem rather than cure it.
And you know what they say, If you want something done right, do it yourself.
And thats exactly what God did. In a move of pure brilliance on the part of Glenn Beck and Sean Hannitys most famous ally, the champion for evangelical conservatives and the religious right not only got rid of progressives best chance to provide healthcare for all, he did it in the most sickly humorous way possible. Partner that with a new law in Massachusetts that prevents Governors from simply appointing a new senator (in an attempt to stop another God ally Mitt Romney from appointing a Republican to a seat), along with a rather weak candidate undoubtedly pushed forth by agents working for Yahweh for the Dems and a remarkably handsome former Cosmopolitan Centerfold in Republican Scott Brown. It was all but assured that God would get his way, he would do it in a way most humiliating for his enemies. Absolute twisted brilliance.
But what would you expect of the entity responsible for the creation of the Duck-Billed Platypus?