Monday Sep 01, 2008

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Since my computer took a dropsy my internet has been unpredictable at best. I may have done some damage to the wireless adapter...I don't know. I had a long blog written out and then the internet ka-pooped on me. So, we'll try again.

Anyhow, how was everyone's long weekend? smile

Mine was excellent. Had Havana Thursday night. Sorry to those who I bailed on without saying goodbye. I was starting to feel panic-attack coming and just wanted to leave.

Friday I hung out with two awesome people...laughed our asses off watching something about penetration and forest pod sweatshops. Oh, Discovery Channel, how I love thee... Anyone who buys me mass quantities of chocolate earns a special place in my heart forever. kiss

Saturday I went to watch the game with some of the guys I hung out with in college. Sitting in the middle of 3 of them (Jer, Ryan, and Mark), drinking beer and insulting one another felt like home to me. Then Ryan's new girlfriend came over and she is literally the coolest chick I've ever met. I ran home after the game so I could hang out with my little brother for a while before he went to the Sevendust concert. He took me to dinner too which is something I don't think he's done before...ever...haha.

Sunday was "date day" with a guy I have been seeing since...oh...mid-July-ish? We had lunch at the Greek Festival, then drove down to Cincy to watch my cousin do another DJ Collaboration show.

Spoilered due to vomit-inducing levels of gooeyness:

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

So, above mentioned guy and I went on a couple dates in July, at which point he decided he didn't wish to see me anymore because I had a guy friend coming into town for the weekend and it was making him jealous and I refused to un-invite guy friend. A few weeks ago he texted me and said he missed me and was hoping I could forgive his dumb-ass and try again. I thought about it for about a week, then agreed to. I guess this was 3 weeks ago. Now, I find myself putting forth effort to NOT like him. He's a great guy. He's sweet, funny, super-smart, gentle, and darn good looking. However, I am still super reserved when it comes to a new relationship. All I can think about when I think about getting serious with someone is how unbelievably smothered I was in the last relationship. And about all the things I wanted to do but couldn't. So, I feel myself literally fighting to keep a distance. But when he looks at me and smiles...*swoon*. And the little touches...he'll just randomly hold my hand or give me a kiss on the neck. He cups my face in his hands when he kisses me goodbye and it gives me butterflies. When I am trying to be distant on purpose and haven't talked to him in a couple days, I will just suddenly get a text that says "Just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you." Then I go a little gooey in my tummy-region. He asks me how my Zoo Tycoon pandas are without ridiculing me for being a dork. And still, I am fighting liking him. He is really incredibly intelligent and we will run the gamut of conversations from stem cell research to picking our noses. He isn't afraid to talk about emotional things. Yet, I am being the tard here and am keeping large, important pieces to myself. I am fighting so hard to NOT like him, that it literally hurts my brain. Because when I let go, I am going to fall for him...and that's just way too scary for me to handle right now.



Anywho, it's back to work for me tomorrow. Not a whole lot going on this week other than getting everything done that I didn't do today since I decided to hang out with Dustin longer. I have no groceries in the house, there are dirty dishes in the sink, and 3 baskets of laundry to do. I have tickets to the Buckeye game next weekend. That should be oodles of fun! smile

I hope all of you have an awesome week! smile

VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
wyldewolfe:
let yourself go you deserve the happiness, and we are not all asshats like your ex, the new guy fucked up once give him a second chance he seems like a nice guy
punknitemike:
how bout them buckeyes? did you notice the osu thing on your nametag?

good seeing ya thursday, sooo many people there it was crazy to talk to everybody. i sure had fun though. ive had a nice long 7 day labor day weekend, not looking forward to going back to work tommorrow.

let yourself go alittle, cause ya never know unless you do.

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