That pretty much says it...
I was watching an episode of Two and a Half Men last week...Jake was being all moody and just generally a pain in the ass. No one could figure out what was wrong. They were counseling him and coddling him and just being loving in general and he kept moping. Until one morning he comes bounding out of his bedroom super happy. The whole family was like "What the heck?" And the housekeeper was like "I had him drink this bottle of prune juice...he was constipated."
That's how I feel. No, I don't have to poo. However, I am so mentally and emotionally backed up right now that it is fucking me up in a big way. One minute I'm on the phone with a client being happy, the next I'm spontaneously crying, then I'm loving my boyfriend, then I want to throw something. Do they make prune juice that just zaps all of the feeling out of you? If so, I'd like some. I don't feel good...I am always cranky...I am questioning everything and just generally being difficult.
I unleashed the wrath of Ash on an unsuspecting victim this afternoon and I'm really sorry about it.
Best friend Lee is coming down on Friday night. He has known me longer than anyone I am currently friends with. I am looking forward to sitting somewhere with him and talking through some of this. He used to call me "broken" when we were younger. I'd go through waves where I just wanted to cry and sleep and was on constant overload. Well, I am breaking again. I need an Ash-mechanic. Too much, too fast. This is why I dropped out of college the first time. I couldn't get a handle on a life-balance of any kind...I was working full time, in school full time, in a relationship, had to fit in rehearsal time and gigs, and it was just insane. It's no easier this time around. It might actually be harder...because even though I can still blow off class like I used to, I can't blow off work and sleep all day. I think I will feel better after my conference is done on Friday. It's seriously stressing me out.
On a positive note, I got my history midterm paper back today. Oh, that's right...Ash is a French Enlightenment genius. I got a 96%. WOO! That was pretty much the only thing today that made me smile.
wyldewolfe:
great video, congrats on the 96%, and yes its called tharazine then you become the walking dead. A far as your moods it could be depression, it could be endometreosis, it could be a hormonal imbalance thing get your family doctor to give you a full physical. Thats my 2 cents.
punknitemike:
stop stressing yourself out, you know even though im currently here in TX im still here if ya need to talk or vent or anything really!