noreins

Let's see I found out today that I'm no one that anyone would be proud of. Or at least that is way I was told. I didn't know being a very attentive and involved full time mother and still doing full time classes online and receiving a 94% for my lowest grade nothing to be proud of. I was also informed that I'm nothing more than a huge mistake and a big regret. That I am hated by many. I don't understand what real stress is and that I'm pathetic. That I'm never going to make anything of myself and that I'm worthless.

All this came from my ex boyfriend/my children's father...it all started because I told him his priorities weren't straight because he should be talking to me tonight rather than leaving to go visit his friends at college so we can figure everything out before our son comes. I guess he has some built up anger towards me. He told me that he hated me along with most people and that he has hated me for a really long time. But he has always wished we could have been friends and that when people ask him about me that he would be able to be proud of me for something and be able to brag about me but there is nothing even remotely good to mention about me. Also, he wants me to pay him $300 because he made an abortion appointment after we found out I was pregnant and I refused to go and he didn't cancel and they charged him partial for not canceling. I also have no idea what stress is, for the fact I'm taking a full course load of classes and I have my son here every day and most nights. Oh for the fact that I'm going to have another kid and child support won't go up and I'm taking another semester of four classes plus a CNA program. He's right I have no idea what stress is whatsoever. Oh and speaking of stress I'm due December 31st and he is leaving for two weeks from January 7th-21st for a voluntary class for the National Guard.

I don't think he realizes how much I go through and how much I have sacrificed for my sons and so he can have as close to normal college experience as possible. I'm tired of an argument breaking out because I don't agree with many decisions he makes regarding priorities. I don't see why we can't just talk and figure everything out, instead he has to take stabs at me and try to break me and if or when he does he then says how I'm an unfit mother and he is going to take me to court to take the kids away from me. Just because I get upset about the things you say or I break down and cry does not mean that I am incapable of taking care of my kids, it just shows that I have emotions and I'm not as cold hearted as he likes to believe.

Sorry I really needed to vent and get it all of my chest.

Just to add in, ex does pay child support for my son in fact he pays about $100 more than what the state requires him to. We are going to court to get visitation in writing. And regardless of whether or not he wanted the baby he is and will be in the baby's life. He is just a jackass and likes to say extremely hurtful things.