ok so I guess I'm going to adtualy use my profile. but first some music. I guess tool will safice. anyways. what to put in my journal?? well its been proven that no one reads it so I guess that would mean I'm safe to say my intermost thought/past. but why bother. I guess I don't even think about it that much. but here goes something. I never have time for anything anymore. working 2 jobs, 55 hours a week, and then trying to get atleast 6-8 hours of sleep. this is a bitch. there was a time that I got 12-14 hours everyday. but the depression had kinda backed off. I think I'll try to get down to something like 5 hours a night/day. I really only sleep during the day. I work nights so thats to be expected. but here I am spending the last 5 min talking about work. the only think I even seem to have time for anymore is not robbing me of the little time I have to do what I want/. so why don't I do this...I started sg because a friend showed it to me and teld me she was a member (shes not) so I got on to have something entertaining to go. though I spend a lot of time online chatrooms/forums/this site are very much a change of pace for me. I do belong to one locale street racing forum but I hardly count that. so when I got here I desided I'd use this place to help fix some of my mental illness. I have this problem. I have a girlfriend....great girl she not my problem. but between her and work I have time for nothing else. but I really need a friend. someone to talk to thats not her you know. thats not so bad. I had the perfect person for this in the past...but she moved and desided to show me how much of a hatful bitch she really is before she left. if only you knew what the friendship ment to me. and now here I am a year later saying, "I can't take it anymore I need to fill that void" but so far my searchs for someone to just converse with (about anything or nothing just talking) has gotten me no where. kinda hope crushing. 