noisemx

Well, now that Suicide Girls finally let me back into my account (shakes hand in anger), I thought I would change my user picture and also add a link to my buddys website that has actual pictures of me (all old) for those who really want to know what I look like (however awful, I always look goofy or gay in pictures).

I started and finished Timequake in a week. I took it slow because of constant interruptions, and also the book didn't flow very well. It was full of wonderful one liners and quotes, but as a whole, the story was lacking something.

I immediatley picked up Bluebeard after that. I finished it in two days time and was quite happy with it. It was a very cute book with a very well developed charcters and great use of modern art.

I am now starting Wampeters, Foma, & Granfalloons. This is a collection of interviews, essays, and the such, which should give me better insight into the man himself that did the writing (even though most of his main characters represent his own life quite well).

I have been having a lot of mental problems lately, losing patience and flaring on the drop of a dime so to speak. Such an ordinary non threatening thing can set me off into a frenzy. I refuse to hurt others (I did too much of that in my past) so I usually take it out on myself. I usually would drink some Chartreuse (high alcohol percentage and nice taste) to slow me down a bit (like alcohol does) and then slice up my left forearm (my right is tattooed) and let the blood (thinned by the alcohol) flow like water to release tensions. I do not try to kill myself as I am afraid to die (I'm agnostic), I just issue out some pain to distract my mind. I would rather hurt myself than somebody else or someone's property. I know my pain level, and I don't have to pay any replacement fees for what I have broken. I am not drinking anymore however, and I have been trying to hold together without the bleeding, but it is not working and things are getting broken quick and I am alienating myself quicker. I have to be careful of where I go and when, so that I don't let my mind slip in a place of public. Bad things happen when that happens.

Pathetic Indeed!

I trimmed the back and sides of my hair yesterday and now I need to shower again to clean up a bit and shave the face and all that. Why don't the ladies like mustaches, I think I am far cuter with one than without, but all the ladies refuse. I wish I had a nice John Waters mustache, then I would really actually be happy. I have been listening to Nirvana and Leatherface a LOT lately, it's odd.

Cheers, Brian Scott

Noise:
Rjd2 and Blueprint (Soul Position) "Oxford You Really Owe Me"
Nirvana "Sliver"
and
Leatherface "Pale Moonlight"

(anyone who replies should let me know what noise they have on their end as well. Deal? Deal.)