i've been a mess. come too far to give up now.
all i can really give up, in this instance, is an offering:
been a MESS, i tell you. just never having processed events, ideas, feelings. that were hard to look at and deal with.
now's the time to be really tender w/yourself. in times like this. "resentment," quoth Anon, "is like a stream of wee running down your leg--you're the only one who feels it."
all resentment is is re-sent-iment. re-sentiment. feeling something over and over again. if that feeling is love, hey, cool. then it's re-sentiment. but if it's hate ("i hate that that happened. i hate that i felt that way.") then it's time to change the tune. for your own good. ('cause again, no one else feels your feelings).
this is my lesson right now. OUCH, it smarts. i've been craving love, beauty, my own tiny little space where things run sweet, honey drips from the water fountains, walkin' round heaven all day (you know, like snow white, 'cept not), and that just ain't honest. or fair. it's been a great diversion from my not dealing with my less than colorful feelings. so effectively i've been spreading honey over wounds. not too sweet, my friends.
time to dig in dirt. spew it all out, blasphemous feelings. feeling spurned, malnourished, mistreated, misguided, gipped. write it all out. rewrite it how it needs to be. literally or in your consciousness. that's the only way to do it. other strategies will go down. this IS a war, people. old habits die hard but they simply must be suffocated from lack of attention.
my words don't cut it. but wayne dyer's on TV again today. he's been practicing this for longer than i. luckily, we're equals, and the same energy wayne's using is at my (and your) disposal.
it ain't gonna happen in a velvet-lined prayer closet or on a mountaintop, it's going to happen in all of my relationships, in the workplace, in my neighborhood, in my car on the way home, it is now. ya know? it is now.
there's no such thing as a justified resentment. it's cool to be angry and to process it, those are just feelings. that just is. feed that puppy, and it's on you. time to starve the angry dog, and feed the loving dog. loving is a verb. it's something you choose to do everyday. it's not a complacent noun. it must be put in action every single day. not easy. but well worth it. what else is there to do. how else will my life mean anything if i don't do this. it's easy for me to love up on and be warm and fuzzy with you. but in the presence of fear? stress? perceived "hurtful" or "unsafe" people? (sigh) ghosts. limiting beliefs. time to move on.
feel your feelings, quicker. learn to identify them and give 'em attention. nurture the ones that make your life a breeze. learn from the ones that don't. they can't be filed away. the truth will out on its own, believe you, me. focus on ya' game. you're in charge of ya' own dome. you wouldn't want it any other way. 'cause when realizations like this come down, who else can turn 'em around but you?
all i can really give up, in this instance, is an offering:
been a MESS, i tell you. just never having processed events, ideas, feelings. that were hard to look at and deal with.
now's the time to be really tender w/yourself. in times like this. "resentment," quoth Anon, "is like a stream of wee running down your leg--you're the only one who feels it."
all resentment is is re-sent-iment. re-sentiment. feeling something over and over again. if that feeling is love, hey, cool. then it's re-sentiment. but if it's hate ("i hate that that happened. i hate that i felt that way.") then it's time to change the tune. for your own good. ('cause again, no one else feels your feelings).
this is my lesson right now. OUCH, it smarts. i've been craving love, beauty, my own tiny little space where things run sweet, honey drips from the water fountains, walkin' round heaven all day (you know, like snow white, 'cept not), and that just ain't honest. or fair. it's been a great diversion from my not dealing with my less than colorful feelings. so effectively i've been spreading honey over wounds. not too sweet, my friends.
time to dig in dirt. spew it all out, blasphemous feelings. feeling spurned, malnourished, mistreated, misguided, gipped. write it all out. rewrite it how it needs to be. literally or in your consciousness. that's the only way to do it. other strategies will go down. this IS a war, people. old habits die hard but they simply must be suffocated from lack of attention.
my words don't cut it. but wayne dyer's on TV again today. he's been practicing this for longer than i. luckily, we're equals, and the same energy wayne's using is at my (and your) disposal.
it ain't gonna happen in a velvet-lined prayer closet or on a mountaintop, it's going to happen in all of my relationships, in the workplace, in my neighborhood, in my car on the way home, it is now. ya know? it is now.
there's no such thing as a justified resentment. it's cool to be angry and to process it, those are just feelings. that just is. feed that puppy, and it's on you. time to starve the angry dog, and feed the loving dog. loving is a verb. it's something you choose to do everyday. it's not a complacent noun. it must be put in action every single day. not easy. but well worth it. what else is there to do. how else will my life mean anything if i don't do this. it's easy for me to love up on and be warm and fuzzy with you. but in the presence of fear? stress? perceived "hurtful" or "unsafe" people? (sigh) ghosts. limiting beliefs. time to move on.
feel your feelings, quicker. learn to identify them and give 'em attention. nurture the ones that make your life a breeze. learn from the ones that don't. they can't be filed away. the truth will out on its own, believe you, me. focus on ya' game. you're in charge of ya' own dome. you wouldn't want it any other way. 'cause when realizations like this come down, who else can turn 'em around but you?