ninji

cutters and healers

there are
cutters and healers
bleeders and treaters
love physicians and heart therapists

and the girls and boys
who stand between
the self-injurers who do it just
to feel some-
things

look at us running back and forth like
we're playing tag
and you're it

look at me trying to build and traverse
that bridge
picking up the phone after we'd made apologies
and still we can't yet find the time for one another.
(sorry.)

"we're all adults here," he said, "poking his nose above my head," creating an emergency firedrill to startle me.
but i'm not it--
(sorry).

i can't unfuck it up this time, my darling but we can start over
if you want to tug-a-war-it, though,
we might not get to fun bits

lay me prostrate
on that velvet prayer rug
in my mind i want to disconnect from you
just so we can both get on with things

relax relate release

i take out my plastic
cosmic
scissors
snip
turn in circles, sufi,
hope to sweat and dance and dream it out

there are doubters and believers
givers and receivers
instigators and relievers

i don't wanna stop the flow
critique
i don't wanna miss the sweetness of the rain
bemoaning it
don't wanna miss out
about
how it might indeed just
wash me clean
- ninji 02/03