n1c0

I feel like I'm drifting somewhere between sleep and awake. The past couple of weeks have been such an unbelievably transformational stage for me, which has resulted in my having an entirely new perception of my life here and the world I live in - Boston that is. I have completely submerged myself in music these last weeks - both live and my own songwriting - and as time has gone on, I have just stopped caring about the other parts of my life. Wait, that sounds wrong. What I mean to say is that I have a new understanding of what is and isn't really important in my life. I always loved to bartend. Sure, it was there to just pay the bills, but I had a good time doing it. Maybe if I wasn't a musician I could have even owned my own club at some point. But now......it just seems like work. I've lost interest in it, and as a replacement, every day, I'm fighting to get off of work to run off to some show or to record something that popped into my head, or do a jam session - anything to somehow connect me with what I want to do. And the best part is, for the first time in awhile, I feel absolutely alive. In the same way that this city was making me a stronger person, it was also tearing me down into a comfortable, endless loop of stablity and security. I feel like I've completely broken free of that. The funny thing is, until a couple of weeks ago, I didn't even realize I had fallen into it. Either way, I wake up every day feeling like I'm in the middle of this huge journey, and that I am moving forward in the journey. Perhaps this is the visceral road tour that precedes the actual road tour, but whatever it is, there is a life in me that I'd forgotten I had. There is possibility, and that is better than any kind of secure or stable life I could ever have.