Friday Feb 22, 2008

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So I decided to blog again but I didnt want to forget the last one...so I put it in a spoiler.
I just got back from the eye doctor with Sybil. I have Cataract in my left eye. I have a surgical consult next week and they are going to fix my left eye. But they cant really do anything about my RIGHT eye so i will have to wear ONE contact so I can see. This is actually oik news..because they are gonna fix the problem. But why cant doctors fix the problem without surgery?
I am so NOT a happy camper. This sucks.
Sybil told me that I was trying to "one up her" because she has the same thing but not as bad. What a crazy bitch. ya know what? If someone tells me they have something wrong with them and I share something about ME its only because I am trying to relate. Let them know that I understand and am here for them because I have been thru hardship.
Fuck her.

The drama has subsided as i knew it would but I am still gonna take a break from the group and chat for a bit. I have too much on my plate and there is TOO MUCH crap going on. I need to concentrate on ME right now and try to relieve some of my stress. I am hurting and I dont want to inflict pain on everyone.
I am not leaving the site (that would NEVER happen) and I am not going anonymous...I am jsut chillin for a bit. I love you all very much and I promise I will be back in a few days or so....

Pisces



This is my blog from this morning....very long but worth the read...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

I am so thankful for spoilers!!

WARNING.....long blog ahead...some VERY important stuff too!

My morning

[spoiler]
So I wake up this morning to the TESTING the fire alarm. Every 30 seconds to a minute then alarm went off for about 10 seconds. I know it was them testing it today because i called the office!
THEN I go out into my kitchen to make food and i cant. The maintenance men were supposed to come fix my sink last night and never did. So I call the office again. She was SUPPOSED to tell them to just enter but never did. So I tell her to just tell them to enter my apartment because i am sleeping...which they DIDNT. grrrrrrrrrrrrr
I have standing water in my kitchen sinks and have for almost 24 hours! DICKS
I feel bad..I was a mean bitch at first...and i made them listen to music I am sure they wouldn't want to EVER! But that's a part of my story that will come later!



My Eye appointment with my MOM!

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

OK so most of you already know I have diabetes. And by now the world knows that having diabetes puts me at risk to go blind. Well about 12 years ago I found out i had retinopathy (there were veins growing behind my retina and they could burst and cause blindness) and they did laser surgery to help. They take a laser (while I am awake) and burn the veins. I get a migraine for a few days and have to wear sunglasses for 24-36 hours because of the light sensitivity. It hurts BAD. Well when I went to the doctor about 2 years ago she told me that she didnt see any retinopathy...YAY!!! She gave me Trifocals (but very cute frames! wink ) and sent me on my way. Well for the last 6 months my eyes have gotten worse. I cant see anything hardly out of my left eye. REALLY I can hardly even see color...I am going blind.
I am sitting here telling you all this wiping my eyes because i am crying. My DREAM is to go to Paris and spend a month at the Louvre looking at beautiful art. I have never seen a Monet before or a Picasso...or anything other than stupid NM art. I have wanted this since I was 15...and have always been too sick. Now there is a GOOD chance that I not only never will make it there (lets be honest my broke ass cant pay to go to PARIS for a month) and even if I DID I wont be able to see anything. It is one of my greatest fears going blind. FUCK drown me...burn me...make me deaf...but please dont take my eyes. I am scared shitless... and you all probably skipped over this part of my blog so you wont know when I am sad online...ahhhhhhh oh well...I DO have something happy that follows...
We'll see..i go in a few hours....
Until then I will sit here staring at beautiful women and gorgeous flowers! whatever smile



I am SO nice for putting all this in spoilers...you should all thank me...but you should read it..I give you insight into me when I blog....just dont claim to "know me" if you aren't reading this...smile
ALTHOUGH Abbiss has a reason to not read it all...I dont fault her..

Abbiss this is for YOU...

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

Fire alarm went off today..they were testing it...
Eye doctor appointment today to find out if I am going blind which I probably am..

There ya go sweetie! kiss



So now on to the good stuff!
Tunnel_Vision is really so good to me. I mean HONESTLY! He knew I wanted a puppy BAD. I mean even last night I wanted to buy a puppy..or a fish! I couldn't find black and pink fish so I didnt.
So I get home and I have THIS!!
Meet Joey! My new Puppy!



My new I Puppy!!! And he is PINK! *squeeeeeeel*
He is the cutest thing...he moves his head and ears to my Ipod! If I turn the ipod off he barks! He responds to ME too! I can pet him and he moves!!
He gets a sister today...an Ifish that I am already naming Fishy!!
ONE bad thing about Joey? He LOVES Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera! He kinda like Marylin Manson but he GOES TO TOWN with those two girls!!
I deleted my Ipod on accident last night (another long ditsy story) so i was up all night looking up music and I actually am digging the new Britney song. That dam puppy FREAKED out! I thought the damn thing was gonna jump into my lap!!
He is so cute! PERFECT for little ole me...I dont have to walk him at all and to feed him I just play music!
I will post pictures of him AND his girlfriend Fishy tomorrow....
weird..I didnt know a fish and a dog could copulate...hmmmmmm

OK OK I have taken up enough of your time...
OH I do have to ask tho..my friend Turudd posted about the Anna David song last night. he sent me to Amazon. GERMAN Amazon tho..I dont speak enough German to understand what I am doing and I want that CD..any ideas? If someone can find it and tell me how much and maybe walk me thru it that would be great. or maybe pick it up in a store and we can make arrangements for me to get you some money for the CD and shipping. I need that damn song. Yes it is a need y'all...

OH an I almost forgot...sigh
My Birthday..

SPOILERS! (Click to view)

so i know I am not gonna get the two things that I really want for my birthday. its March 9th and I will be 34. It will be sad because I am in NM so I am having a hard time with it...
I REALLY want Tunnel to visit OR AND for me to go PINK! *squeeeeeeeeel*
But since I cant get those two things...I think my other birthday wish is my DAMN phone i have been obsessing over..I know I know ya right..

ORRRR the girls SG hoodie..
You can figure that one out...go to the store at the top of the page!
Anyway I left my hoodie in Canada so i let the lovely khoos keep it...
But keep your fingers crossed for my FIRST two birthday wishes!
kiss kiss



Sigh..that took me forever..I am gonna go eat maybe and shower definitely and go to the eye doctor. I will let ya know tomorrow how it goes!

The Long Winded,
Pisces

EDIT:
oh and for the record I dont hate ANYBODY. I love you all. This is the first time that there isnt anyone that I DONT like. If I dont like ya than I take ya off my friends list! I DO get hurt when YOU take me off but I deal with it.
FOR NOW I think that I need to step away from the Geezers group...and possible chat. Not because i am mad or I dont like anyone..but because I have a lot going on in MY life too...and I cant be dealing with all of this right now.
I hope that you all still visit my page...because i am NOT leaving the site...just those few places that have caused me to cry this morning.
[/spoiler]

VIEW 11 of 11 COMMENTS
bairdduvessa:
bummer about your eyes luv, bummer about the dramma-yay for you staying though! smile
wyldewolfe:
so do you have another cataract developing on the right eye that is not ready yet
who made ya cry I'll go find em and beat em up

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