mrkillerchef

so its been a few days since my last write in. i had a pretty good day with my sister. she came up from CT and spent the night. we had pizza and beer. haha between us we drank about 15, most of which was me. i was surprised that i only got a little buzzed. the plan was to get drunk and talk about life and cry and shit

but it was an interesting experience. had alot of insight to my past relationships. i realised that my former fiance was a no good person and just scum. and that my latest ex was pretty much perfect for me.

but thats where im conflicted. ive been talking to people online. locals. well a couple locals and a couple not too far away. ive started to have feelings for one of them, while the others seem like really cool people that id love to hang out with. hell i dont know where any of it will go. the one i really like is pretty damaged, shes got a very troubled past. but it makes me want to be there for her even more and help her. on the other hand i have a few girls who are very cute and local and have alot in common.

i dont know what to do. do i throw caution to the wind and try to be happy and settle down with one of these new girls? and see if theres something worth it there? or do i still hold out and try with my ex.

we have been talking lately. more than we have this last month. first it was just small talk, but now im getting into her heart and seeing how she feels. i dont know. the ball is all in her court. i have to wait for what her choice is. but now do i wait and hope she comes home to me? or do i not wait and try for a new one?

i just dont know....