mjr0xurs0x

ok so she finally gave me her answer .. after interogating me about the whole thing. she said she still wants to work things out and we will stop talking about this starting last night. but i cant help but feel that down the road when we have a huge fight about something .. she's gonna bring it up and rub it in my face. maybe not anytime soon but most likely when were settled in together and we start to go back to our old ways with each other and then we get into it like old times then she'll just bring it up to hurt me. she tends to do that when we fight. she likes to say things that will hurt me. like i remember a while back we had a really huge fight and she told me i'm worthless and no wonder my exs broke up with me. and she said i was a waste of time. i was really hurt and i couldnt look at her. i just kinda sat on the floor and started crying my eyes out. i was speechless. she saw what it did to me and she apologized. but it hurt so much i just couldnt forget the words that came out of her mouth. i dont really know what happens to her when she gets mad but she says really off the wall hurtful stuff and she tends to get violent. i kno i shouldnt tolerate that kinda shit but i love her so much. i cant stand to be without her. she's the only person i have ever felt this way for and i cant bear to lose her. it hurts me everyday to not be with her. but i just have to suck it up. i have to be a big girl now and big girls dont cry.