oh my god!!!!!!
so much has happened since i was last on.
The girl that I was dating/but we weren't together...although we had been together for years prior to this mess.... went down to North Carolina to go to a formal with some guy that has liked her for god knows how long.
she goes down.. breaks my heart... and says she'll let me know if she's in love with me anymore when she gets back. Fair? I don't think so. I mean... yeah.. do whatever you have to do to get yourself in order and to figure out what you need... but i don't think that should be purposefully going down to be with a guy you may or may not have feeelings about to figure out if the feelings you have or don't have for the person you've claimed to be in love with for 4 years is really going to work! maybe that's just me.
anywhoo.. so she goes down to NC... i don't know exactly what happens.. but over the course of the 5 days that she was down there and 6 days afterwards i couldn't eat anything. I lost 11lbs. 11lbs in 11days. EW. so she comes back and says she doesn't think she's in love with me anymore... and that she and the dude are just dating because she wants to see where it might go. well... not too long afterwards i ask her to hang out with me because her birthday just passed and I was planning on doing something amazing for her birthday for 4 months.
So.... she's acting awkward but we talk about things with us and with him.. and with her... and the night is seemingly going well. then we drive to plymouth and we sit in my car looking at the waves crash in on a very blustery night. a song comes on the radio and i get out of the car and make her get out and we slow dance.
then we get back in the car because it's pretty damn cold.
we talk more... i give her the small birthday present and a card... and she cries.
then we kiss. it was awesome. (at least on my end).
and it's not like I'm doing all the work either... she's not stopping me... and i pull away a little bit and she still wants to kiss me.
anywhoo... so finally i start the drove back to her house...~35 minutes away.
we're talking about good stuff and about how i love her and what-not.
we get to her house and she gives back the early birthday present i got her over a month ago....
and she goes to look in the back for something.
we talk a bit more... we hug. I stand really close to her and she kisses me. we kiss a bit... and then i walk her to her door. kiss some more... and then i leave and go home.
I get home go online (facebook) and find out she "OFFICIALLY" started the relationship with that other dude 4 hours before she and I hung out.
WTF?
and she kissed me!??!
she cheated on him... do i tell him that? UGH.
So... the next morning i'm feeling pretty shitty and i go to my car to get the XBox 360 that she gave back to me. (that was the early birthday gift from over a month ago) .... and I noticed something in the bag.
It was a small white box.
Inside this small white box, to which i instantly recognized anyway, was the ring i got her for christmas when we were still happy and together. I gave her the ring when she took me to Disney. I gave her the ring thinking... this is not an engagement ring... but a promise ring of sorts that we will be together always.
When she was looking in the bag for something back at her house... that's what she was doing... she was giving the ring back.
The ring that she and I saw and she said "Ohh I love that one!"
The ring that meant so much to me to give it to her.
Now... she's dating some kid who looks like he's 40 and he's not even 22 yet. Looks like one of those dogs that ran into a parked car and got their faces smooshed in. he's balding @ 21. and.. yeah... he's not attractive.
although... i'm not saying looks are everything.. but they've got to factor in a little bit.
So where am I now?... i didn't exactly beg for her back... but I am trying to prove my point that I am still in love with her. She says she doesn't trust me. ... and that it's not about ME.. it's about HER. She doesn't know what she wants.
Well if she doesn't know what she wants.... why is she with this douchebag!?!?!?
FUCK!!!!!
she said "I just need you to be my friend right now."
does that mean she wants to come back?... or is trying hard not to hurt my feelings?
because... honestly... if it's to try and NOT hurt my feelings...she's sucking hardcore at that.
I have to let her go ...... and I don't want to.
Not only was she my girlfriend of 4 years.... she was my BEST FRIEND (other than my other female best friend)
it hurts too much.
I want with all my heart for her to be happy.... but I can't see her with this guy.
(especially since last summer she broke up with me for a month and started dating him 2 days after she broke up with me....... so this is twice with the SAME GUY!) Arrgghghhh!!!
My friend has a quote similar to "if you love something set it free....if it comes back to you it was meant to be."
His version goes like this:
If something set it free, if it comes back to you.. Great.
If she doesn't. .... FUCK HER AND KILL HER.
hahah. I always laugh at that.
well... i'm going to go keep myself occupied.
later!
so much has happened since i was last on.
The girl that I was dating/but we weren't together...although we had been together for years prior to this mess.... went down to North Carolina to go to a formal with some guy that has liked her for god knows how long.
she goes down.. breaks my heart... and says she'll let me know if she's in love with me anymore when she gets back. Fair? I don't think so. I mean... yeah.. do whatever you have to do to get yourself in order and to figure out what you need... but i don't think that should be purposefully going down to be with a guy you may or may not have feeelings about to figure out if the feelings you have or don't have for the person you've claimed to be in love with for 4 years is really going to work! maybe that's just me.
anywhoo.. so she goes down to NC... i don't know exactly what happens.. but over the course of the 5 days that she was down there and 6 days afterwards i couldn't eat anything. I lost 11lbs. 11lbs in 11days. EW. so she comes back and says she doesn't think she's in love with me anymore... and that she and the dude are just dating because she wants to see where it might go. well... not too long afterwards i ask her to hang out with me because her birthday just passed and I was planning on doing something amazing for her birthday for 4 months.
So.... she's acting awkward but we talk about things with us and with him.. and with her... and the night is seemingly going well. then we drive to plymouth and we sit in my car looking at the waves crash in on a very blustery night. a song comes on the radio and i get out of the car and make her get out and we slow dance.
then we get back in the car because it's pretty damn cold.
we talk more... i give her the small birthday present and a card... and she cries.
then we kiss. it was awesome. (at least on my end).
and it's not like I'm doing all the work either... she's not stopping me... and i pull away a little bit and she still wants to kiss me.
anywhoo... so finally i start the drove back to her house...~35 minutes away.
we're talking about good stuff and about how i love her and what-not.
we get to her house and she gives back the early birthday present i got her over a month ago....
and she goes to look in the back for something.
we talk a bit more... we hug. I stand really close to her and she kisses me. we kiss a bit... and then i walk her to her door. kiss some more... and then i leave and go home.
I get home go online (facebook) and find out she "OFFICIALLY" started the relationship with that other dude 4 hours before she and I hung out.
WTF?
and she kissed me!??!
she cheated on him... do i tell him that? UGH.
So... the next morning i'm feeling pretty shitty and i go to my car to get the XBox 360 that she gave back to me. (that was the early birthday gift from over a month ago) .... and I noticed something in the bag.
It was a small white box.
Inside this small white box, to which i instantly recognized anyway, was the ring i got her for christmas when we were still happy and together. I gave her the ring when she took me to Disney. I gave her the ring thinking... this is not an engagement ring... but a promise ring of sorts that we will be together always.
When she was looking in the bag for something back at her house... that's what she was doing... she was giving the ring back.
The ring that she and I saw and she said "Ohh I love that one!"
The ring that meant so much to me to give it to her.
Now... she's dating some kid who looks like he's 40 and he's not even 22 yet. Looks like one of those dogs that ran into a parked car and got their faces smooshed in. he's balding @ 21. and.. yeah... he's not attractive.
although... i'm not saying looks are everything.. but they've got to factor in a little bit.
So where am I now?... i didn't exactly beg for her back... but I am trying to prove my point that I am still in love with her. She says she doesn't trust me. ... and that it's not about ME.. it's about HER. She doesn't know what she wants.
Well if she doesn't know what she wants.... why is she with this douchebag!?!?!?
FUCK!!!!!
she said "I just need you to be my friend right now."
does that mean she wants to come back?... or is trying hard not to hurt my feelings?
because... honestly... if it's to try and NOT hurt my feelings...she's sucking hardcore at that.
I have to let her go ...... and I don't want to.
Not only was she my girlfriend of 4 years.... she was my BEST FRIEND (other than my other female best friend)
it hurts too much.
I want with all my heart for her to be happy.... but I can't see her with this guy.
(especially since last summer she broke up with me for a month and started dating him 2 days after she broke up with me....... so this is twice with the SAME GUY!) Arrgghghhh!!!
My friend has a quote similar to "if you love something set it free....if it comes back to you it was meant to be."
His version goes like this:
If something set it free, if it comes back to you.. Great.
If she doesn't. .... FUCK HER AND KILL HER.
hahah. I always laugh at that.
well... i'm going to go keep myself occupied.
later!
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
mimesociety:
umm.. Vogs?? what the hell is a vog?
mojita:
Haha, I was looking through your comments and you asked if my shoes were Fluevogs....and I was saying yes (using Vogs as an abbreviation).