ach du lieber!
you see this girl? her perfect eyebrows and coy little smile belie a perfectly BITCHTASTIC interior.
she does not respond well to plaintive emails delivered straight to her junk-mail box with lines like "I think your really cute, and to be honest I kinda wanna hump your lil brains out," especially when they come from people she didn't even know were on her friends list. you've been burninated!
she's a big fuckin' elitist spaz about grammar and will not give a second thought to killing you in your sleep when you get "your" and "you're" mixed up. if you want to get in this chick's pants, step one is to write a sentence that is both coherent and mildly interesting. there are lots of people who want to "hump her little brains out" (albeit mostly hobos) so the next person who actually gets the privilege would do well to appeal to her intelligence and wholeness as a human being, rather than as the cockwrangling slutmonger who swoons at the thought of humping the brains out of some mindless kid who thinks she's cute.
as you can see, she writes really long sentences, and she hopes that the next person whose brain she destroys with her humping is able to comprehend all these big crazy polysyllabic words. and the commas and periods and apostrophes and so on. it's a big scary world, kiddo, and there's probably someone else willing to take you on. as for this bitch, she is politely trying to ignore you because you're really not the only one to send her creepy emails, but you are definitely the only one this insistent and unpleasant. in the future, if you want to hump her brains out, send her a mix tape of improbable variety, or, better yet, show up at her door with some chloroform and electrical tape. she may be a bitch but she knows a good time when she sees one.
you see this girl? her perfect eyebrows and coy little smile belie a perfectly BITCHTASTIC interior.
she does not respond well to plaintive emails delivered straight to her junk-mail box with lines like "I think your really cute, and to be honest I kinda wanna hump your lil brains out," especially when they come from people she didn't even know were on her friends list. you've been burninated!
she's a big fuckin' elitist spaz about grammar and will not give a second thought to killing you in your sleep when you get "your" and "you're" mixed up. if you want to get in this chick's pants, step one is to write a sentence that is both coherent and mildly interesting. there are lots of people who want to "hump her little brains out" (albeit mostly hobos) so the next person who actually gets the privilege would do well to appeal to her intelligence and wholeness as a human being, rather than as the cockwrangling slutmonger who swoons at the thought of humping the brains out of some mindless kid who thinks she's cute.
as you can see, she writes really long sentences, and she hopes that the next person whose brain she destroys with her humping is able to comprehend all these big crazy polysyllabic words. and the commas and periods and apostrophes and so on. it's a big scary world, kiddo, and there's probably someone else willing to take you on. as for this bitch, she is politely trying to ignore you because you're really not the only one to send her creepy emails, but you are definitely the only one this insistent and unpleasant. in the future, if you want to hump her brains out, send her a mix tape of improbable variety, or, better yet, show up at her door with some chloroform and electrical tape. she may be a bitch but she knows a good time when she sees one.
VIEW 21 of 21 COMMENTS
theshinobi:
That was cheesier than the nachos I'm eating right now.
theshinobi:
Actually you do creep me out enough. You left the comment right as I signed on. Consider my mind molested. Metaphysically.