story time: romance, part one
I vividly remember the first time I met Her. I had known of Her before, being involved in the same high school activities and all, but had never had an actual impression made of Her in my mind yet. The first time our orbits collided was a show night, when She was putting make up on my nose and I was being absorbed into Her eyes. In only a few moments, I saw a laid back, intelligent, creative, yet electric person in the hazel clouds I floated in. from there came conversations in the hallways, greetings during band practice, sidelong glances and a quest of my own to find out everything I could about this particular member of the female species.
the first large step occured thanks to aim and a little bit of intelligence gathering on my part. online conversations proved to be both the beginning point of our mired existence, but also the main forum for our connection. nights became long with conversation and discovery, slowly at first but increasing steadily. as good as it seemed to go, things were not occuring outside of the digital realm, and, frustrated, i moved on and found myself in a horrific long distance relationship. for whatever reason, we could both relax and talk even freer.
our connections came plentyfold. from artistry to intellect to social concerns, dreams, libidos, culinary tastes and manic tendencies. things seemed to fit so well, it was no wonder things never worked out. when my relationship ended, suddenly she was in a relationship, and once that ended suddenly we were apart and at college. through it all, there were thinly veiled emotions discussed and expressed, nights of tension and close calls towards betrayal, and increases of dreams and pomes.
we were lucky in that the heat did not dissipate as the friendship grew deeper. as time would have it, one fall weekend things progressed to a new level as Her arms circled me on my bed. it became the first and only time so far that my mind was taken far away from me and every little thing seemed to be full of electricity. She saw colors. I was liquid flame. we didn't even get undressed, we didn't even get off. I sheepishly, innocently asked if I could touch Her vagina. Her reply: "what don't I want you to do to Me?" my mind melted from the heat.
the next night would bring casual hanging out and lingering kisses at the end of the night, with both of us dreaming of future times together. they would not, in the end, come. but i can always think of walking across campus with Her, enjoying the night; sitting in the cafe, being enamored with Her tongue over chai; the scent of her hair on my pillow that lasted for days, or Her scent on my fingers that lasted for days, all completely intoxicating; endless conversations and shared dreams.
things never got weird, things never lessened, our friendship only grew as the time went by, always picking up with one another's life at random yet ultimately fitting moments. with the increased distance of my moving out here, things seemed to reach another plateau, with a period of time being full of long conversations, on this new world, this new life we're discovering individually. Her voice as She faded into sleep created such contented happiness.
now we're separate and have not communicated for a while. i know we'll never be together fully, that's just not our place, but I know that as long as She's still there, She's still there for me. we call each other brother and sister, because that's more of what we are; we are, in the end, just an echo of the other, a mirror image of something deep on the inside. i may not see Her again for years, or even ever again, but She is the reason I believe that there is something worth the burn out there, something worth keeping my dreams alive for.
I vividly remember the first time I met Her. I had known of Her before, being involved in the same high school activities and all, but had never had an actual impression made of Her in my mind yet. The first time our orbits collided was a show night, when She was putting make up on my nose and I was being absorbed into Her eyes. In only a few moments, I saw a laid back, intelligent, creative, yet electric person in the hazel clouds I floated in. from there came conversations in the hallways, greetings during band practice, sidelong glances and a quest of my own to find out everything I could about this particular member of the female species.
the first large step occured thanks to aim and a little bit of intelligence gathering on my part. online conversations proved to be both the beginning point of our mired existence, but also the main forum for our connection. nights became long with conversation and discovery, slowly at first but increasing steadily. as good as it seemed to go, things were not occuring outside of the digital realm, and, frustrated, i moved on and found myself in a horrific long distance relationship. for whatever reason, we could both relax and talk even freer.
our connections came plentyfold. from artistry to intellect to social concerns, dreams, libidos, culinary tastes and manic tendencies. things seemed to fit so well, it was no wonder things never worked out. when my relationship ended, suddenly she was in a relationship, and once that ended suddenly we were apart and at college. through it all, there were thinly veiled emotions discussed and expressed, nights of tension and close calls towards betrayal, and increases of dreams and pomes.
we were lucky in that the heat did not dissipate as the friendship grew deeper. as time would have it, one fall weekend things progressed to a new level as Her arms circled me on my bed. it became the first and only time so far that my mind was taken far away from me and every little thing seemed to be full of electricity. She saw colors. I was liquid flame. we didn't even get undressed, we didn't even get off. I sheepishly, innocently asked if I could touch Her vagina. Her reply: "what don't I want you to do to Me?" my mind melted from the heat.
the next night would bring casual hanging out and lingering kisses at the end of the night, with both of us dreaming of future times together. they would not, in the end, come. but i can always think of walking across campus with Her, enjoying the night; sitting in the cafe, being enamored with Her tongue over chai; the scent of her hair on my pillow that lasted for days, or Her scent on my fingers that lasted for days, all completely intoxicating; endless conversations and shared dreams.
things never got weird, things never lessened, our friendship only grew as the time went by, always picking up with one another's life at random yet ultimately fitting moments. with the increased distance of my moving out here, things seemed to reach another plateau, with a period of time being full of long conversations, on this new world, this new life we're discovering individually. Her voice as She faded into sleep created such contented happiness.
now we're separate and have not communicated for a while. i know we'll never be together fully, that's just not our place, but I know that as long as She's still there, She's still there for me. we call each other brother and sister, because that's more of what we are; we are, in the end, just an echo of the other, a mirror image of something deep on the inside. i may not see Her again for years, or even ever again, but She is the reason I believe that there is something worth the burn out there, something worth keeping my dreams alive for.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
corvus_pdx:
*Sigh
pyratwilly:
I've known you for something like 2 years now, maybe a little more - and I keep learning more all the time. Some things are easier to write than to simply say over the phone, and with that in mind, I'm writing this because I know I'll chicken out if I try to say it. As limiting as this language is, I'm going to make an attempt. I feel truly honored, blessed, humbled, and fortunate to have you as my friend.