so i was trying to sleep in my booth, in the back. the shop is dead. i haven't done shit all day. or all week, for that matter. i'll try and forget the fact that i'm broke but i had JUST started to nod off when my phone rang.
goddamn it.
and i didn't mind who was on the other end. verna. my second mom. she's grand. and she needs her computer fixed. FINE. i can do that. but she also talks a lot. which is also fine, most days. however- my head still hurts like a bitch and i'm in a terribly black mood.
she misses talking to Jules. i know that. so do i. Jules was easy for people to talk to. i, however- am not. and when verna started to talk about Jules. we both started ranting.
thing is- i knew that Jules was ready to leave jeremiah. he was a massive piece of shit and she'd had enough. he'd hit her, he hadn't had a job for 5 years. he was useless. i could write a fucking novel about it. but the point is- i knew she was going to leave him.
what i didn't know (which is what verna told me) was that Jules was just waiting on pay day. i knew she'd found a place to stay but i didn't know that she was just.waiting.for.pay.day.
Jules was killed on the 22nd. 8 days before pay day.
eight days.
if i had been given 8 FUCKING DAYS. i'd still have her.
i could still smell her. and see her. and hear her. and hug her. i would still fucking have my twinkie.
the thought of 8 days makes me want to die.
i sat in the back room until i could wipe the black off my face and go back out front.
i am angry.
indescribably so.
so much so that even though i am emptying my house tomorrow (yay, beck) i am going to put some of that currently-important-shit aside to go visit the county attorney.
see if i need a police report.
go to the police station. talk to a few of my cop buddies and FUCKING FILE FELONY CHARGES.
in fact. i'm so angry, i might file them against more than just jeremiah. i may file them against floyd, who took my sisters things from HER house and handed them over to jeremiah later on. who assisted.
i plan to march my happy ass out to slate branch, where i know her things are- and take what is mine. what was hers. and the things that he does not deserve to have.
and will i take every one in the way out on the way? oh you better believe it. jeremiah's relatives are harboring Jules' things and i will.take.them.all.down. just to get what i want. i know they have drugs at their place. could they be caught up during the warrent? OH YEAH. they can. and will. because i don't.give.a.damn.
tomorrow is the 15th and after that, it's a lousy fucking week until Our anniversary. until Jules' anniversary. or, in other words- until i feel like driving my goddamned car into the same guard rail and just forgetting the whole damned thing.
irked?
YES.
goddamn it.
and i didn't mind who was on the other end. verna. my second mom. she's grand. and she needs her computer fixed. FINE. i can do that. but she also talks a lot. which is also fine, most days. however- my head still hurts like a bitch and i'm in a terribly black mood.
she misses talking to Jules. i know that. so do i. Jules was easy for people to talk to. i, however- am not. and when verna started to talk about Jules. we both started ranting.
thing is- i knew that Jules was ready to leave jeremiah. he was a massive piece of shit and she'd had enough. he'd hit her, he hadn't had a job for 5 years. he was useless. i could write a fucking novel about it. but the point is- i knew she was going to leave him.
what i didn't know (which is what verna told me) was that Jules was just waiting on pay day. i knew she'd found a place to stay but i didn't know that she was just.waiting.for.pay.day.
Jules was killed on the 22nd. 8 days before pay day.
eight days.
if i had been given 8 FUCKING DAYS. i'd still have her.
i could still smell her. and see her. and hear her. and hug her. i would still fucking have my twinkie.
the thought of 8 days makes me want to die.
i sat in the back room until i could wipe the black off my face and go back out front.
i am angry.
indescribably so.
so much so that even though i am emptying my house tomorrow (yay, beck) i am going to put some of that currently-important-shit aside to go visit the county attorney.
see if i need a police report.
go to the police station. talk to a few of my cop buddies and FUCKING FILE FELONY CHARGES.
in fact. i'm so angry, i might file them against more than just jeremiah. i may file them against floyd, who took my sisters things from HER house and handed them over to jeremiah later on. who assisted.
i plan to march my happy ass out to slate branch, where i know her things are- and take what is mine. what was hers. and the things that he does not deserve to have.
and will i take every one in the way out on the way? oh you better believe it. jeremiah's relatives are harboring Jules' things and i will.take.them.all.down. just to get what i want. i know they have drugs at their place. could they be caught up during the warrent? OH YEAH. they can. and will. because i don't.give.a.damn.
tomorrow is the 15th and after that, it's a lousy fucking week until Our anniversary. until Jules' anniversary. or, in other words- until i feel like driving my goddamned car into the same guard rail and just forgetting the whole damned thing.
irked?
YES.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
I have no idea what happened and I dont know why it was the boy friends fault (if you want to tell me you can but Im not going to ask) but what I do know is just by what you said is that he and his whole family are no good!
Well I will tell you I dont know that much about the place ether so its going to be like the blind leading the blind, but that is what map quest is for!
I understand loss...(I will tell you about mine, I normally don't tell anyone but I think it would be ok).
My first fiance was a dancer in Memphis Tn. I was in the Navy and Memphis is where I was stationed to go to school to learn my job. I meet Sheri there dancing at a club and we started seeing each other. After a year we decided to get married but I was getting stationed in california. Sheri was going to collage at the time and was finishing up her last semester so she stayed there. After graduation she was heading to california so we could be married. She called me when she was in Texas, and we had the only fight in the whole time we were together. She died that night in a car accident, hit by a drunk driver. The bad thing was that I didn't tell her that I loved her when I hung up the phone that night. I will always wonder if she knew it or not. I will always blame myself for her death. She was going to stay and extra day in Texas and rest and I got upset because I wanted her with me. If I just would have let her be, I would have her with me now. I still miss her and love her now...over 20 years later. I will always blame myself.
I will see you saturday...