so... i. replaced jules' flowers on the bypass last night and left without incident. it is a normal occurence for people to try to run me over while i'm out there. i don't understand it myself.
but before that- you see. i know. that last night. was the last night. i ever. saw julesy-bat alive. we spent halloween night together and she took me to the airport, today- two years ago. we promised not to cry. we tried to pretend that we'd see each other the next week. that it would be soon.
but we cried any way- and i after i went through security, i stood on top of the stairs and hollered "i love you, twinkie!"- as loud as possible. i disturbed the passers-by. i pissed off the security guards. but i made a complete fool out of myself just for her- and it made her laugh.
"i love you, twinkie" was the last thing she left on my answering machine, the night she died- half an hour before.
last night was a night for coincidence. i went back to her apartment and sat outside, smoking in the car, sitting in HER parking space- i went to where the skate park used to be, just to look through the windows. and i drove on down the road.
red mattise roses to the cemetery, for johnna too. the ladies were not in the Yard last night, needless to say. but the thought was there. i left jules a witches hat on top of her flowers and a tiny coffin purse beside her picture. she appreciated the decoration.
i went home unable to breathe and laid on the bed, listening to my dog whine until shelly texted to get me out of the house. and i did- force myself to leave. and drink a bit. and socialize just slightly.
but sleep is still evasive and the only conclusion that i came to last night, while i watched stars shoot around like pinballs.. was that i desperately need to ask beck is she can create some thing complicated and chaotic. for my back. in an art-nouveau sort of fashion.
beck. i know i ask impossible things. but when you come off with prints like the last ones you posted. it makes me mind boil and the monsters come out to wallow in your detail.
i should work. <3
but before that- you see. i know. that last night. was the last night. i ever. saw julesy-bat alive. we spent halloween night together and she took me to the airport, today- two years ago. we promised not to cry. we tried to pretend that we'd see each other the next week. that it would be soon.
but we cried any way- and i after i went through security, i stood on top of the stairs and hollered "i love you, twinkie!"- as loud as possible. i disturbed the passers-by. i pissed off the security guards. but i made a complete fool out of myself just for her- and it made her laugh.
"i love you, twinkie" was the last thing she left on my answering machine, the night she died- half an hour before.
last night was a night for coincidence. i went back to her apartment and sat outside, smoking in the car, sitting in HER parking space- i went to where the skate park used to be, just to look through the windows. and i drove on down the road.
red mattise roses to the cemetery, for johnna too. the ladies were not in the Yard last night, needless to say. but the thought was there. i left jules a witches hat on top of her flowers and a tiny coffin purse beside her picture. she appreciated the decoration.
i went home unable to breathe and laid on the bed, listening to my dog whine until shelly texted to get me out of the house. and i did- force myself to leave. and drink a bit. and socialize just slightly.
but sleep is still evasive and the only conclusion that i came to last night, while i watched stars shoot around like pinballs.. was that i desperately need to ask beck is she can create some thing complicated and chaotic. for my back. in an art-nouveau sort of fashion.
beck. i know i ask impossible things. but when you come off with prints like the last ones you posted. it makes me mind boil and the monsters come out to wallow in your detail.
i should work. <3
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Oh well since you are there and I am here...
**hug** and
and spooky. thank you- the thought was just lovely.