meldarko

hmm...
making out in a parking lot in st. clair shores sounds silly...
but it's oh so fun

so what had happened was i got myself tied up in a big ol' mess of lies and secrets...
and thought i was in love...
with the worst possible match...
and it tore me up pretty bad, but now i know better...
i hope...
and i'm moving on, and learning about a new interest...
who seems to have much more integrity than the last...
but,...
Read More

I had tender feelings that you made hard
But it's your heart, not mine, that's scarred
So when i go home, i'll be happy to go
You're just somebody that i used to know

You don't need my help anymore
It's all now to you, there ain't no before
Now that you're big enough to run your own show
You're just somebody that i used...
Read More

bored of this...
tired of my job...
sick of boys...
drugs and alcohol don't work...
i need to sleep forever...

god i am depressing

i had a good easter, ate with my parents and my sisters family...
fell asleep watching fellowship of the ring in my parents basement... woke up and watched the two towers with them...
i'm officially a nerd... but i'm good at...
Read More

oh... ok, you must've only meant you couldn't have a relationship right now... with me
you must've meant you didn't know who you were or even care about anyone or anything when you were with me
you must've been only afraid of leading me on and making ME feel secure only to drop ME on my ass everytime I asked you about what this was...
Read More

...

lately all i really want to do is watch movies and get all tired and junk...
went out last night, and was kinda bored, but i got drunk so it was worth it to some degree... i'm not a big fan of being drunk really...
i'm on a quest for something more substantial...
oh yeah, i went to visit my old church today right after...
Read More

i'm doing amazingly well...
i heal quickly... perspective is the key, and allowing myself to wallow and morn the loss of the friendship was very helpful...
all in all i feel that i'm better off...
and better able to move on
and free... free from the story i wrote and the sadness it caused me when it turned out to be fiction
--
friday i'm...
Read More

damn this is going to take a while to heal... i'm sorry for reverting to the sad mel... i have a good reason...
i said i couldn't go on as one of many... because i was falling... and that it was over... i was through with watching the self destruction...
and he was honest and said that he couldn't give me what i was dying...
Read More

i've opened my eyes...
when they were closed you were there...
i'm alone now...
and looking straight ahead

i are drunk... so, bouncing souls... no one can beat us, we drink beer and wear addidas!!!!
jose cuervo made me druuuuunk, with the help of blue moooon! woooo!
i wanna be drunk all the time! or as happy as i am when drunk...
i love everyone...
this is a time to tell all of you on my friend list that i love you so...
Read More

i guess all i do is complain...
so i'm going to try to do a regular update type entry... with no philosophical waxing whatsoever...

i had a worky thingy this morning, i drove home from it... then i ate some food... and watched tv...
and i am taking bass lessons tonight so i can get super gooder at playing the bass guitar...
i've been playing...
Read More