so i have a decision to make. my school's big end-of-the-year party is coming up in just under a week. a lot of it is for celebrating finishing thesis students. i've looked forward to these three days for five years now. the problem is that it's all full of bacchanalic revelry. crazy fun and whatnot, much of it chemical. i've been good this year - so so good.. i'd really just like to get crazy drunk one day and crazy high the next. but the "senior dinner" is on the day to get drunk.. so if i drink too much, i'll have to skip on having all the professors tell me i'm cool. and if i take drugs, i won't think straight for several days, and i have my thesis examination just a few days after the weekend. so i'd probably be ok, but not necessarily as sharp as i should be. oh - and obviously my memory of the time will be better if i'm sober. *sigh* and see, it's MY party, because i'm graduating, but i'm the one with all the responsibility. it's really going to fucking suck if i'm sitting at home trying to be good and everyone else is out getting crazy. i'd say that i'd go with them and just stay sober, but that would just not work - i'd either end up not sober, or terribly frustrated and angry.
funny thing is that it's all not worth stressing about, right? it's all fun and games and the point is to be happy. but i do anyway. like i worry about everything. and i don't know what i'm going to do. it makes my belly all fluttery and my breath short even to think about it. it's too bad that i love chemicals so much, or this wouldn't be a big deal. but oh, i miss them. i do.
maybe someone has advice for me. or maybe not... 'cause it'll end up being a spur-of-the-moment decision anyway, i bet. *sigh* and *sigh* again.
oh - and if you're thinking about chiding me for wanting to do this so much, don't. that's not what i need. i'll shoot you with my flamethrower if you do that. just advice if you have it, and whatever the fuck else if you don't.
3 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes.
i am officially insane.
*sweeping bow*
goodnight.
*turns on heel, disappears in a puff of smoke and darkness*
funny thing is that it's all not worth stressing about, right? it's all fun and games and the point is to be happy. but i do anyway. like i worry about everything. and i don't know what i'm going to do. it makes my belly all fluttery and my breath short even to think about it. it's too bad that i love chemicals so much, or this wouldn't be a big deal. but oh, i miss them. i do.
maybe someone has advice for me. or maybe not... 'cause it'll end up being a spur-of-the-moment decision anyway, i bet. *sigh* and *sigh* again.
oh - and if you're thinking about chiding me for wanting to do this so much, don't. that's not what i need. i'll shoot you with my flamethrower if you do that. just advice if you have it, and whatever the fuck else if you don't.
3 days, 16 hours, 20 minutes.
i am officially insane.
*sweeping bow*
goodnight.
*turns on heel, disappears in a puff of smoke and darkness*
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I don't really do the wedding planning thing but I have always known what dress i wanted. A flapper dress. For some reason that idea is exciting to me.