Thursday Mar 10, 2005

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it's official - i'm bipolar, or so go the opinions of 3 out of 3 "professionals".

the thing is, i believe it's true. i feel so disconnected from everything & everyone. including myself. it's like being trapped in someone else's body. i can't control my emotions, not even with logic. the swings between way the fuck up and way too far down are so drastic, unpredictable, & dramatic i can't orient myself. it's like being a carbonated beverage.

i like mania. i don't like depression. i want to stop wanting to die...or just get up the nerve to do it & get it over with.

ugh. puke

"...ocean pulls me close
and whispers in my ear
the destiny i've chose
all becoming clear
the currents have their say
the time is drawing near
washes me away
makes me disappear

i descend from grace
in arms of undertow
i will take my place
in the geat below

i can still feel you
even so far away..."

rainwolfkin, i need you...
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
cosyne:
Come move to the Northwest -- I'd be bipolar living in Georgia, too. But please don't die. That would be silly. Plus, if you do that, how will be able to tag team Carlos (remember that guy)?
mro:
Bipolar? Isn't that the punchline to "What do you call a white bear that swings both ways"?

The thought of being trapped inside someone elses body amuses me - if I were trapped in, say,
rainwolfkin's body I would just sit in my bedroom and play with my boobies all day.

Mmmmmmmmmmmm
shocked

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