ok so i have several things on the docket today...
1. Avoidance: in order to avoid work i went to a movie for an afternoon showing to, Young Adam, which was almost worst going to just because it was NC-17, (i was carded mind you) and the full frontal nudity of Ewan McGreggor, or however the hell you spell his name. There's lots of sex... and that's not a bad thing to see on a big screen.
2. Annoyance/Roommates: i have become unparrellably frustrated with my roommate. i am tired of her talking to her idiot ex boyfriend, getting pissed off, and needing to call everyone in her phonebook just because she's lonely, talking incessantly until the wee hours of the morning while flipping the channel on the tv a hundred times a minute. the channel flipping is something that is regular, but when it's late/early morning, it is really fucking annoying. THE VOICE, was the icing on the cake, she gets this tone when she's talking to boys, this "i'm sweet as peaches and cream" voice and it has become one of my biggest pet peeves.
3. Aggravated: I'm really aggraveted with people. period. just everyone. i'm tired of being the back up friend you call because your real friends ditched out, and you know i'll always be there.
4. poverty: ok, so i'm not living in the slums, but i don't have money, and when i do, it's barely enough to support my milk habit, and i'm telling you, i might as well have a coke habit, it's just as regular, i go through over a half gallon of whole milk a day, that's every day, at now the increased prices of $2.85 per half gallon, which is the only size that fits in my fridge, and i buy four at a time.
5. Politics: Shut the fuck up. really. i'm tired of people thinking their so political, when they don't know anything, they have these big inflated heads which believe the same things, and are really sure that there is nothing else for them, that everyone else is wrong.
6. School: i really wish i could quit now. i don't care. don't get me wrong i love learning, it's the one thing that i could never stop doing, but this place, has killed it, all of the learning i have done here has been in vain, i don't remember hardly anything, and i don't put in any effort, i'm skating by as though this was my freshman year of high school not college, but then again i think i worked harder than i am now.
7. Friends (which is almost the same as 3, but with something positive): i don't have them. which is fine. i have a few scattered here and there, and i would never want to lose the ones i have, but i'm fed up with the people that swear they'll never leave and abandon me the very next month when someone more interesting comes along, i don't make friends well, and i keep them even worse. i have had more people leave me than those that have stayed. i have 4 friends that i talk to, 2 on a regular basis. one i've known since i was 8, so i think it's just hard to let go because it's over half of our lives, one since i was 12, whom i have been through many boughts of depression, strange and abnormal things, one whom i've known since i was 15 whom i adore and think i was in love with once,and still love dearly, went to prom with twice, and gave me magick to my life which saved me from myself, and the other for less than a year, yet he has been more of a friend to me than all of the people that left me combined. so i'm lucky. i'm really lucky, but it doesn't always ease the pain of having another person betray you when you already barely trust.
8. Ugliness: i need to fix that. i'm surrounded by ugly things, trapped in this ugly body and ugly words fill my mind.
9. Pictures: ok, this isn't a complaint, fully, i got a load of pictures back today from being developed, and that's smashing, really, i got my HIM concert pictures developed, oh god, Ville's beautiful, so fucking beautiful, really. but pictures that still hang up, these pictures of people that hurt me, that i can't bear to let go, why do i still hold on?
which brings me to.
10. sentimentality: i am the biggest pack rat ever, it's in my blood, i have pictures of people that i don't speak to, i have napkins from dinners i went out to that i don't remember, and nothing happened, movie stubs, random pieces of paper, empty candy boxes because they were given to me, dried flowers, etc, because i can't bear to throw anything away, even when they hold the wretched sentiment.
ok. well this was a hell of a lot longer than i wanted, so i'm going to shut up for now.
1. Avoidance: in order to avoid work i went to a movie for an afternoon showing to, Young Adam, which was almost worst going to just because it was NC-17, (i was carded mind you) and the full frontal nudity of Ewan McGreggor, or however the hell you spell his name. There's lots of sex... and that's not a bad thing to see on a big screen.
2. Annoyance/Roommates: i have become unparrellably frustrated with my roommate. i am tired of her talking to her idiot ex boyfriend, getting pissed off, and needing to call everyone in her phonebook just because she's lonely, talking incessantly until the wee hours of the morning while flipping the channel on the tv a hundred times a minute. the channel flipping is something that is regular, but when it's late/early morning, it is really fucking annoying. THE VOICE, was the icing on the cake, she gets this tone when she's talking to boys, this "i'm sweet as peaches and cream" voice and it has become one of my biggest pet peeves.
3. Aggravated: I'm really aggraveted with people. period. just everyone. i'm tired of being the back up friend you call because your real friends ditched out, and you know i'll always be there.
4. poverty: ok, so i'm not living in the slums, but i don't have money, and when i do, it's barely enough to support my milk habit, and i'm telling you, i might as well have a coke habit, it's just as regular, i go through over a half gallon of whole milk a day, that's every day, at now the increased prices of $2.85 per half gallon, which is the only size that fits in my fridge, and i buy four at a time.
5. Politics: Shut the fuck up. really. i'm tired of people thinking their so political, when they don't know anything, they have these big inflated heads which believe the same things, and are really sure that there is nothing else for them, that everyone else is wrong.
6. School: i really wish i could quit now. i don't care. don't get me wrong i love learning, it's the one thing that i could never stop doing, but this place, has killed it, all of the learning i have done here has been in vain, i don't remember hardly anything, and i don't put in any effort, i'm skating by as though this was my freshman year of high school not college, but then again i think i worked harder than i am now.
7. Friends (which is almost the same as 3, but with something positive): i don't have them. which is fine. i have a few scattered here and there, and i would never want to lose the ones i have, but i'm fed up with the people that swear they'll never leave and abandon me the very next month when someone more interesting comes along, i don't make friends well, and i keep them even worse. i have had more people leave me than those that have stayed. i have 4 friends that i talk to, 2 on a regular basis. one i've known since i was 8, so i think it's just hard to let go because it's over half of our lives, one since i was 12, whom i have been through many boughts of depression, strange and abnormal things, one whom i've known since i was 15 whom i adore and think i was in love with once,and still love dearly, went to prom with twice, and gave me magick to my life which saved me from myself, and the other for less than a year, yet he has been more of a friend to me than all of the people that left me combined. so i'm lucky. i'm really lucky, but it doesn't always ease the pain of having another person betray you when you already barely trust.
8. Ugliness: i need to fix that. i'm surrounded by ugly things, trapped in this ugly body and ugly words fill my mind.
9. Pictures: ok, this isn't a complaint, fully, i got a load of pictures back today from being developed, and that's smashing, really, i got my HIM concert pictures developed, oh god, Ville's beautiful, so fucking beautiful, really. but pictures that still hang up, these pictures of people that hurt me, that i can't bear to let go, why do i still hold on?
which brings me to.
10. sentimentality: i am the biggest pack rat ever, it's in my blood, i have pictures of people that i don't speak to, i have napkins from dinners i went out to that i don't remember, and nothing happened, movie stubs, random pieces of paper, empty candy boxes because they were given to me, dried flowers, etc, because i can't bear to throw anything away, even when they hold the wretched sentiment.
ok. well this was a hell of a lot longer than i wanted, so i'm going to shut up for now.
emma35:
oh man there is only so much crap you can take from the roomie until one day you just snap. I DESPISE living with other people. I'm much better off on my own. yay so you had fun at HIM? i was somewhat of a packrat too but i had to get rid of so much stuff b/c of moving....i drink a glass of milk almost every night with cookies...because I'm addicted. It's ok I tell myself because milk is good for you. maybe not the cookies tho 