mcroger

Okay, I have been thinking about why I have been boyfriendless for quite sometime now when most of my other friends are coupling it up to the hilt, kind of making me sick with all their gushy "no you hang up" nonsense...
And its not so much that I want or don't want a boyfriend, I really could take it ot leave at this stage, its just everyone keeps asking why I don't have one or if I'll ever bother to have one again, because I really don't make any effort with any guys no matter how much I like them... Liam for example, but then all we have in common in a love for our hair being perfect, so maybe not...

But I know why, its just if I were to tell my best friend who is the biggest of the smug marrieds, she wouldn't be happy because she would realise why I hardly ever want to see her.
See, I get sick of people in a second, I could love them one day and have them murdered the next... I think within months I would hate whoever I was seeing and just leave them...
I think, but I don't know for sure...

I used to be really choosy, like if they don't tan well, I want no part of their annoying sunburn victim action (I tan very well, in minutes infacto and it is all real, in the sun, getting skin cancer)
or if I don't like their shoes... or their hair or eye colour or their hands or how they walk...
But I'm getting over that now... but the tan is still an issue...
sort of... more of an excuse really...

But I don't want to be by myself forever... But I don't want to be with someone I'll grow tired off either. T'is a vicious cycle I have gotten myself into.
I think mostly I just don't want to end up like my mother...

Oh, please, noone tell me I won't end up like her, as much as I love you all, you know nothing about the situation and can't possibly judge so just don't. Just if you were planning too... Taaaaaaaaaa very much...

Love...
Suzanne...