Recently, in a group on FetLife, I ran into this little gem of a post (names eliminated to protect the identities of those I would rather see left alone and most of the responders have been left out):
workshop fireplay:dancing with the sun by Sol December 27th at the asylum
Xnumber1 started this discussion 1 day ago
Saturday December 27th The asylum(Eugene, Or) is pleased to welcome nationally recognized presenter XXXXXX. This is a class I have taken, and it is not to miss. It's my opinion that Sol is one the best in the business at fireplay, and this class is a bargain compared to what it might cost in other cities.
XXX on Fire Play: Dancing with the Sun!
Letʼs talk a little about Fire Performance. Why do we dance with fire? It is because of the primal nature of the element. Man lives in awe of the elements and has worshiped them from the dawn of time. Using the elements brings incredible power to any art. When man harnessed the element of fire the primal nature was tapped. Or have we harnessed it? The illusion of control has at times led to devastating effects. Yet man is still fascinated by fire as he dances with utility and the power he will never control.
In this discussion xxxxxx will demonstrate dancing with fire as it pertains to BDSM play and beyond; for the dance is a must, because control is an illusion. A fire performer learns to move with the fire and guide it in a profound and fascinating dance. We will discuss how a fire performer develops a relationship with the uncontrollable and manages the risk while maintaining intensity. In the BDSM world we use the intensity of fire to build and thrill, and also to massage and relax with sensual touch. Fire is a dance and a journey of the spirit as well as the body. Come see a Dance with the Sun.
about XXX
XXXXXX "XXX" is a nationally recognized sex-positive educator and performance artist active in the fetish, bondage and BDSM communities. Beginning consciously in 1980, XXX's alternative journey has resolved into a commitment to merge art, spirituality and connection into his lifestyle in expressions of sacred sexuality, alternative relationships, and participation in BDSM and bondage that include Japanese rope bondage, body art, Edge play, sensation play and photography. Additionally XXX works with the community in developing interpersonal communication and group dynamics. While teaching technique is a forte XXX believes the soul of relationship is what gives expressions potential.
XXX is the leader of (INSERT BONDAGE COMMUNITY NAME HERE), a proud member of the NCSF, and has been an active contributor to many lifestyle conventions, venues, and organizations. Some of these include the Folsom Fringe, Paradise Unbound, GWNN Bash, Club X, Edges Dungeon, SAADE, the Training Camp, APEX, and the SF Citadel. (These entities left named because they don't indicate his identity. There are plenty of people who are involved in all of these.)
the cost of this class will be $10 and will start at 6pm. The doors will open for this class at 5:30pm
to attend this class You have to be a member of the XXXXXX or have applied for membership(thats how You get the adress). if You are not a member take a minute to apply at our website (LINK REMOVED.)
Ok now... Let's see... So am I reading about a BDSM Dom of high caliber? ... OR... Is this taken from a brochure about a noted Motivational Speaker? Which is it? The second paragraph is where I have my issue. There is no mention of actual curriculum aside from the "dance as it pertains to BDSM." Now, I have practiced fireplay for 7 years, and at no point have I heard of a "dance" being involved... But as the article says, "the dance is a must, because control is an illusion..." Wait-- WHAT? Run that by me again? This whole thing reads like some overblown, overly indulgent self-love affair.
...And I posted my opinion stating as much.
masterfrederick responded 1 day ago:
No offense meant, but this sounds like the most over-indulgent line of PR I have ever read. Did you actually write this, or was it taken from a promotional brochure?
And of course, the Dickwagging begins:
xnumber1
responded 1 day ago:
well lets here Your bio then........I am sure You are also a presenter who has taught all around the country right?
My profile is linked in my first reply for those interested. If anyone can find any claim to that effect, please feel free to point it out.
My response:
masterfrederick responded about 16 hours ago:
WOW, how very defensive we get all of a sudden... No,I am not a presenter who has taught all over the country-- I simply don't profess to be the "End all Be all, the Alpha and the Omega" of what I do.
As for a resume, I've been into fireplay for 7 years now. In that time I have done more demonstrations in fireplay than would be truly believable if described here, and if I did in fact put it all down, I would at least not put on airs.
Now don't get me wrong, some of the stuff listed in this thread are things I tip my hat to, but for the most part it sounds too self-indulgent for me to really put much stock in.
Let's hear some real statistics. How long has XXX been practicing fireplay? Estimated number of fireplay acts? Estimated if not total number of related injuries to self or subs? Give me something I can put stock in. Therein lies the credibility of one's methods. For all I know he's taught all over the country and horribly scarred someone at every stop. Now I am NOT saying this is the case, but there is little here for me to go on. Let's be realistic here: Oregon happens to have plenty enough teachers who are competent at their forte, so if you really want folks to go to these classes, you're gonna need more than the "Grand Poobah" routine.
Now, I have never played in the public scene because first, there has been no need to. Second, there are too many people who need to be reminded that it's just one big game of "Let's Pretend." These folks come in two varieties: The newbies, who haven't realized it yet, and the Veterans, who once knew this but now the simulated power and simulated submission have gone to their heads. They've forgotten. And there are more in the public scene than in private. I have spoken with many a competent Dom (used interchangeably with Domme, Master, Mastyr, Mistress, Madame, and all other terms meaning a simulated superior role) who gets this. They feel nothing but sympathy for those who don't or once did but have forgotten. It's not really the case for the majority of public Scene players, but there are enough of them to just shred any desire to get involved.
Xnumber1 responded about 14 hours ago:
dude I don't know what your deal is. If you knew anything about anything You would know that a presenter writes his own bio and class sescription. I didnt write any of XXX's material. And XXX is one of the most respected presenters in the undustry, and he knows his shit,=. I have taken his class before. I wont speak for him about on how many of this and how many of that he has done.
I realise you have probably done all kinds of presentations of fire play at sca conventions, thats cute and all, but I have never heard of You before, but I do know plenty of people who are master so and so and talk alot of shit about other people. I dont recall ever seeing your name anywhere at a convention. as far as my bio goes it is currently listed ont he websites for shibaricon, kinky kollege and kinkfest, its pretty easy to find information on me.
and as far as me getting defensive, I would have never had to get defensive over someone that is a friend and a skilled presenter if you hadn't acted like such a douchebag and made your comments, which are not usefull and not invited, and as far as I am concerned hold no ground because you obviously don't know what you are talking about
Ok, now I'll let my response do the talking here, because it says it well enough:
masterfrederick responded about 14 hours ago:
So you have never heard of me... What do you think that means to me? Not a thing. Why? I don't do what I do for fame. No one should. I could just as well point out that I've never heard of you either... Honestly, it doesn't matter to me WHO you OR XXXXXX XXX are. When I read something, I will speak my mind if I feel like it. I am sure there are plenty of things you and I would BOTH agree on. This just happens to NOT be one of them. The world is full of people who don't always agree with you. Can't handle that? Buy a Helmet.
And by the by... When you post someone's bio, then step to their defense, what do you expect me to assume? Note that at no point do I mention that I think you are XXXXXX XXX. I asked if you wrote it or got it from another source, didn't I? I left you the benefit of the doubt. Or did you not notice? I said I thought his bio sounded pretentious. Because it DOES. It's full of endorsements and credentials from such and such organizations, and a whole bunch of romanticized BS, but no REAL information. You know, the kind of thing someone (who already has what he teaches in common) wants to know before blindly signing on to a class full of shit I already know?
As it turns out, Xnumber1 is the owner of a "prominent" bondage "Dungeon." And as the whole thing progresses, he goes so far as to BAN me from ever going... Not that I ever really had the desire to. I was going to go there, but only because some of my contacts REALLY wanted me to go. My feelings on the matter: A BDSM club is really the Scene equivalent of a Starbucks. And I can get coffee at home...
The rest is more of the same, until it gets to this post:
Xnumber1 responded about 8 hours ago:
I see the douchebaggery continues........
yes You are right alot of people play nice to my face, and then go talk shit behind my back.....just like they seem to do to you. I have received many private messages from peple you think are friends telling me what a douchebag you are....
You obviously think you are hot shit, and I hear you were going to try and come to this class so you could cockblock it. Of course we have a no douchebag policy, so You won't be able to attend.
I think instead of talking shit about other people you should take a look in the mirror.........better yet take a look in your picture folder, because your bondage work is crap my friend.....why don't you go off somewhere and spend a few years working on your bondage before you start talking shit about other peoples skill in bdsm.
just a hint though, you might want to stop buying silk cord from the craft store. Thats a free piece of advice from me to You.
Ok then... Let's see. At no point have I or will I say I think XXXXXX XXX doesn't know his game, and might I ask where someone got that I would try to "Cockblock" his class? I mean, holy shit... How would one even go about doing that? I am sure the club is going to get a big draw from this guy being there. One man against a mob? Yeah, them numbers make sense. That and I am not one to blindly attack someone's professional reputation. You have to have DONE something before I take things to that level. Hell, I had a bloody feud with another performer some two years ago, and I didn't pull that shit. If I linked the whole thread, you'd see that this guy is struggling with the fact that no matter how hard he tries, he doesn't matter to me. It's so important for him to matter to me... And all I can ask is, "why?"
And then it gets REALLY funny:
"I think instead of talking shit about other people you should take a look in the mirror.........better yet take a look in your picture folder, because your bondage work is crap my friend.....why don't you go off somewhere and spend a few years working on your bondage before you start talking shit about other peoples skill in bdsm.
just a hint though, you might want to stop buying silk cord from the craft store. Thats a free piece of advice from me to You."
Now, I did mention my profile is linked, right? Well, since not everyone will be able to read it, allow me to highlight the following:
"I do not claim to know everything there is to know about BDSM (as no one should) but I can tell you without ego that there is little if anything left for me to learn about fireplay."
I don't pretend my ropework is all that good. In fact, I bluntly tell people I consider myself a novice at it. And I could bother to point out that it's not the rope but rather the intent with which it's used that matters, and that not all of it is "silk", but rather the thin stuff is Kevlar drum cord, with a test of 900 pounds... But that's not the point. The point is that this is the classic Dickwagger's last act of desperation. He's run out of ways he can fuck with me regarding the actual topic at hand, and resorts to attacking my character from a completely irrelevant angle.
And all the while, he's danced around the main thrust of my initial statement: The bio posted DOES sound pretentious, nothing more than over-indulgent self-love. And all the Dickwagging in the world is not going to make any difference in how I read it. When I consider someone to teach me anything, fuck the credentials. I want to hear what they KNOW. I want to know that this person is not going to be showing me shit I already know. I want to know that I don't already surpass him and could save time and money by not bothering. There is no content to the initial article. There is only fluff, pomp, and pretentiousness. He may know his game like no other, but there's nothing in his bio that would tell me that.
