marsmars

"This is the End, beautiful friend..."

I messed up big time. My life is going to change now, whether I like it or not. I wish I had someone to lean on, you know?

"Cry 'Havoc,' and let slip the dogs of war!"

Some of those with a keen eye for detail might have noticed Left's little penchant for abusing safety-related devices of the conical nature. I drop subtle hints here and there, mostly as a means of psychological attack on said "safety cones."

Understand that their very nature is an affront to my mental well-being. Everything from the...
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Ever wish you could just go back a few years, and unfuck your life?

"My hands, my precious hands..."

There's something mysteriously archaic about my essence. I always felt that I would have been better suited living a few hundred years earlier. Maybe during the enlightenment, when there was an inspiring synergy struck between pragmatism and romanticism. I'm convinced I would have particularly thrived in late Tsarist/early Soviet Russia, during the great social upheaval of the time. You see,...
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Is there nothing greater than Johnny Cash? This is a rhetorical question of course, to which the answer is a resounding and implied "no." I was exposed to his vastness a good deal over the course of my last outing. I must say, I like what I heard. He's got an authentic edge that goes a long way in my book (you see, I have...
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Arbeit Macht Frei!

There is no better way for me to relate to you where my life has been these last four weeks. Right through the very gates of hell...

My family has a transcontinental transportation business, and it became necessary for me to visit several of our contacts throughout the contiguous US. In all, I think I hit 40 states in a little over...
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If I had to say I learned one lesson from tonight, it would be to never lose faith in the impact alcohol has on my rational processes. Had I been sober, had I been just a little less inebriated, an already perfect evening would have ended up being "only" perfect. But no, I had to take all that Tequilla, didn't I? And in the process,...
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Ma' Nature took me for quite an exhilarating ride last night. Mind you, "The Left's" highly irrational and apathetic lifestyle percludes him from being scared via traditional means. However that also leaves plenty of unorthodox avenues of approach to terrifying him. You see, what happened last night was nothing more than a thunderstorm that rapidly passed over my house. But it was an experience entirely...
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What a dark day this is for your humble master, "The Left." I have lost all will to carry on in my witty and rhetorical ways. I feel my sense of inherent superiority slowly slipping down the metaphorical slide of stagnation. I don't know what I'll have left to cling to, when I lose the last personal asset I really had.

The problem isn't even...
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Trembles with anticipation There's a burly hispanic chap fixing my washing machine right now. I am contemplating overpowering him, and plunging him into the dark abyss that is my pantry.

There he would remain until the end of days, forever wondering what he did to deserve such vicious punishment. Nobody would ever know he was gone.

Now I must go with haste to make plans...
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Greetings, knaves! It is I, your master, come to survey his domain. I apologize for any disturbances I might have caused to your planetary atmosphere last night. I had several attacks launched from space on your pitiful earthly military installations. Do not be frightened. My forces always do this before I colonize a planet.

Yes, the rumors you have heard are true. This is also...
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Hello world. Today, I took that big step into the unknown vastness that is the SG public domain. Already I feel as though my mortal body has been usurped by the unholy god of procrastination, as I have abandoned all inclination to leave my place here before "The Machine." Human concepts such as "rest," and "sustinence" mean nothing to me now. We are beyond such...
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