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marginwalker2002

San Diego

Member Since 2004

Followers 64 Following 62

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Thursday Aug 05, 2004

Aug 5, 2004
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Well, the funk is beginning. Not the Parliment tyoe, no Bootsy Collins involved. It's the "Fuck... What now..." kind of funk. I'm doing what I can to move on with my self, but to really do tht I think I need to be out of this house. I love my kids and dogs. And I REALLY still love my wife. But the problem is that staying here just forces me to watch all the behaviours that drove me away from her. Emails and phonecalls flying to people she wants to hook with, ignoring her family. Not just me, but her FAMILY. Her sister is in town from Portland and L has not contacted her to my knowledge and I know she hasn't made any plans to see her. Friends of ours don't want her to come camp or visit anymore because of her behaviour and selfish ways. It kills me to watch her do this. Problem is, I can't leave yet. Financially we're not ready for a split. Emotionally, we have to put our shit together and explain to the kids. It's all a mess right now.

Fuck. Wish this was easy, but I know it won't be. At least this time I'm done being the human door mat. There will be no going quietly for me anymore, there will be no "yes, dear". Fuck that.

The home situation is crap, but I'm taking care of me now. Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
VIEW 10 of 10 COMMENTS
thejuanupsman:
Wow i just looked at your wife's pic and we have more in common than I ever knew. I dont know if our situations are that similar I think I am just convinced things are going to end, maybe even should end, but I cant be the one to end them. I dont even know if I am unable to because I cant stand to be the one who does the hurting or if I am too selfish to be the one who gets the blame. Anyway I hope it all turns out however you want it to. I wish I actually knew what I wanted. I love her but I havnt liked her for a long time now.
Aug 5, 2004
dialysis:
Yeah Chris Cunningham is a visual genius. I recently got a DVD of all his works. I can't get enough of it.
Aug 6, 2004

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