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manchester_black

Canada

Member Since 2004

Followers 50 Following 39

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Thursday Sep 30, 2004

Sep 29, 2004
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8514 Days.

23 Years,
3 Months,
and 21 Days.

It seems like I have wasted a lot of time when I put my age down in days. although to be fair, a good few years of that was used up on things like learning to walk, speak and read.

I'm not tired enough and I'm not drunk as much as I should be. Blame it on the DNA or the upbringing all you like, but alcohol is one of my muses. I am far to reserved for my own good and a lot of the blocks that I have placed in my mind for security reasons to keep other people out do the same to me when I am trying to tap into the well of creativity every now and again. When I am tired, this becomes easier. When I'm on a pace where I cheat myself out of a little sleep here and there is when I function the best. When my brain slips into the place between dreams and the waking world (an odd note about me is I dream lucidly, when I'm dreaming I am fully aware it isn't real, and that if I am upset by the content, I can alter it to some extent) I am not too certain what else helps me in that vein, I believe that being depressed to some extent helps me fuel any creative inklings I have, and I know that a situation in which I am angry doesn't seem to help at all. I have tried many things to help me reach into that portion of myself that can actually retain the focus to sit down and create something. I am terrible for procrastination, and I have a far too addictive personality for my own good. I think I almost need to have a second computer to distinguish between my recreational use and my 'work' use. I confuse the hell out of myself sometimes. I wish my parents kept my operating manual.

I need to read more.
I need to be lazy less
I need to be more motivated
I need to be less introverted and Isolated
I need to create more
I need to need less




VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
jayde__:
Alcohol, lack of sleep and caffeine all tend to help me write more (and sometimes better).

And you know how you wish your parents kept your operating manual. I wish mine had kept -- and extended -- my warranty. Sometimes I really think I'm a defective girl. wink
Sep 30, 2004
judypatricia:
You're hot.

Did you get your chocolate, you big fucking woman? kiss
Oct 1, 2004

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