manchester_black

Two things.

1) Think about who'd miss you. Call them.
2) Think of a time when things were better. Know things will get better.
3) Seek medical attention (call your dr, or go to the ER). Although it doesn't feel like it; you are ill. You are suffering from a medical illness in the same way someone suffers from a heart condition. There is treatment and much of it works quite well.

Message me if you want to talk about this more.

...that you're awake?

Sorry friend, I'm the wrong one to ask these days. I offer hugs and chocolate, though.