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mamazuma

Member Since 2005

Followers 13 Following 7

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Thursday Jun 30, 2005

Jun 30, 2005
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My children's mortality just forced me to aknowledge itself. I am still shaken up.

We were at the laundromat, since our asshole landlord wont fix our washer. My youngest (age 2,) my wild card, went for the door. when I saw him, he was just outside it, I yelled to him to stop and started to run to him. He looked at me and took off toward the busy road. I ran as fast as I could as I watched him step off the curb between two parked cars. My heart stopped.

i grabbed him just as he reached the end of the parked cars. Picked him up and put him down on the sidewalk. And just yelled at him. He cried and I tried to tell him how scared I was and NEVER NVER NEVER run away from mommy or go near the street.

I feel like my heart is still not beating right and it's been almost two hours. I hate to think what could have happened. I feel like it was my fault. But I just don't have enough hands or eyes to handle three kids and fold the laundry.

That's it. I am going to let them pick it up, wash and fold and drop it off. Who cares if it's more money.

I need a to go now and take a few deep breaths.....
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
fredfarnance:
wow see my journal for my glimpse at those feelings lately but those sort of things just terrify me.
I try so hard not to yell at my son for things like that becuase he just doesnt understand but it's so scary you just don't know what else to do.

be sure to give him a big hug later
Jul 5, 2005
kingskottie:
hi.
Jul 5, 2005

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