magnusopum

Still feeling like shit! This is the longest cold ever - I wish it had been swine flu so I could have had the time off! But no! Just a normal regular annoying cold....

Right, moan over

The weekend went really well (Might try and post a video clip of the faux artillery bombardment they asked for) now all I need is a few more...
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I am going to be so busy this weekend! Two full days of work then Monday off to decorate and drink tea hell yeah!

Feeling pretty miserable about all the effort and stress I've been taking on recently (especially when certain people at certain companies just keep fucking me over and making it seem like I do no work!). This weekend will be worth all...
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I can't stop thinking about whether it's even possible to find someone who would ever just let me let go. Someone with the same sense of adventure, drive and libido! I have wasted so many years of my life. I held back on so many things. I wish it hadn;t taken me so long to realise what it is to just give in and knock...
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I'm not entirely sure I know why I feel so uptight and angry today...

I have a fairly good idea though and it may have something to do with the fact that SG has been my only source of incredible naked females in so very very long.

I haven't been out in ages. I haven't met anyone new in ages. I'm feeling bored and restless...
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Who said, "I'll sleep when I'm dead..."

I think I'll do that.

Gorgeous days!

I love the sun shining through nthe tree as the leaves are turning - makes the whole kitchen glow!

Still hate cleaning though.

Well the tiramisu was a total success but the bottle of chiani has left me feeling pretty sore today!

And not because I did anything other than drink it....

Before you ask.

You gotta love days out on a jolly with the company...

Free lunch and explosions all day!

Things are getting easier by the day.

Maybe not physically (the Ten Tors did not do me any good - ouch!) but I'm coming to understand what I have to do now.

I've done a lot right in 2009 but I've made some huge mistakes too.

Will I ever find another person who's that good at giving head? Will I have the time to love...
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I know I'm not alone. I know a million other people feel the way I do.

But that doesn't stop the pain being so visceral. It doesn't mean I don't ache to have her back with me.

I can't sink into this. It's been so long now. A year, punctuated with eqaul happiness and anger. No wonder I have no idea how I feel.

How...
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Why is it that you always want what you absolutely can't have.

How can you make someone fall in love with you in seven days and yet have barely any felings for them yourself.

When does losing someone stop hurting.

where will the next stream of guilt, hatred and passion come from.

I don't quite know how to feel today.

I've been rushed. Slow.

I've been happy. Fucked off.

Anxious. Mildly drunk.

I need something? But I'm not sure what. Whisky doesn't seem strong enough.

Cigarettes are a bad idea.

Maybe I need to pull my muscles apart at the gym tomorrow. Get rid of whatever this feeling is.

Run it out. Run until my vision goes...
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