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From my last blog from the DEEP PAST - AKA 3 years ago- I really had no interest in coming back.

This time I actually wanted to come back.

So I was like "hmm let me search my 2000 unread emails for one from missy suicide offfering me a yrs subscription for 24 dollars" or whatever, and I had another anonymous renewal which had been sitting...
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peteyrock:
smile Thanks for the image. Yes, that is one of the most baller cosplayers ever!
satya:
Oh, hello. I remember you.
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Holy shit, I just finished 100 integrals for my friend because he was strapped for time and he needed help, and wouldn't be allowed to take the final if he didn't turn these, and I wasn't doing anything else of much importance. I started doing them in LaTeX but realized there was no way I could finish 100 in LaTeX in only...
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annisa:
candee:
thanks for the sweet comment smile
made me smile!!!
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Banned from tagging for 3 months, *AGAIN*, and I have no idea why. Since they ban so readily, I think they should at least provide notifications for why, so that the error doesn't get repeated again next.
dr_lizardo:
Site management is noted for a streak of humorlessness.
vanceowen:
Serrano chiles are the key to making a good chili. Try them in your recipe for a kick. Just one or two, they're feisty buggers. wink
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My profile spontaneously deleted itself and I have no idea why surreal robot
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My dog (Scooby) is dead. I think was food poisoning. He was healty. The past few weeks alot of food was recalled by the company that makes almost all the various brands of dog food, apparently from some rat poison contamination. Past few days he's been pissing like a race horse, and whining for seemingly no reason. Last night he threw up alot and...
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ambrosio:
I am sincerely sorry to hear that. Another friend of mine who is a biochemist and animal lover recently posted warnings about poisoned and recalled food to a list we belong to. Perhaps I should have fwded those messages, not just to you, but to anyone with an ear toward guerrilla media. While the fuckers are poisoning their products, they are also poisoning our communication channels.

Like you said, inaction kills--even indirectly.

Be well,
Joshua
dr_lizardo:
I'm sorry to read about Scooby. It's kind of strange when something that's on national news happens to someone you know.
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Yeah, so I lied. I found some spare change in my bank account and decided to renew my account biggrin
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ambrosio:
Glad you received the disc and like it. I am not certain about the origin of the notes--I have not actually looked at them, yet; been too busy reading books. If I catch a hint, however, I will pass it along.

I wish I could attend the American Society of Cybernetics conference, this year. Albert and Karl Mueller are presenting their new book, An Unfinished Revolution?
Heinz von Foerster and the Biological Computer Laboratory, 1958-1976
, just prior to the event.

I have recently procured some good used books from eBay and other online sources, including some ASC conference proceedings and a copy of Survey of Cybernetics: a Tribute to Dr. Norbert Wiener that may have belonged to the editor, John Rose.
ambrosio:
Yes. I joined the IEEE Systems, Man, and Cybernetics Society a few years ago, as I was already a member of their Computer Society, but I did not take much from it. I decided to get more involved w/ the subject this year and joined the ASC as well, which has turned out to be a very fortunate investment. Alas, I was already committed to a later conference in Virginia, this year, so decided to pass on the ASC's. Hopefully next year, I will attend.
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bias:
*No, I must agree, I've also never had control.

It's a fleeting and reoccurring feeling that I'm just waking or that I'm being pushed through different realities; the later being closer to the mark. For example, I hardly remember why I wrote my comment on math - and it digressed or made me seem to sputter in retrospect (which seems off color).

I can only think that it has something to do with my mind losing the perception of continuous consciousness. Which, I imagine, stems from the expression of some earlier obsession I've had with self-identity being fortified into my subconscious.

Whatever the case, it is disquieting and seems to be increasing in frequency and intensity.

bias:
It is fortunate when change occurs at a rate amicable with my self-identity; for even though I am a determinist and accept my role as a cog in this causal universe, certain detriment shines through in the everyday:

I think it has something to do with a conflict between my brain stem and the cortex. I say this because while I feel like I am being pushed into and out of reality, I have a trailing sense of the visceral. It's as if I were a time sharing system and as the brain stem begins to operate it supersedes the cortex in priority and much to my horror I am privy and observer to this. This is no new news for it has been on the lips of many when they say things like "I was thinking with my other head" etc. However, I am more disturbed that as time has progressed I have gathered an acute sense that my time where I am in control (if you will) is diminishing. More poignantly, I have come now to the distinct awareness that I am, completely, a prisoner- I emphasize that this is a feeling not a thought.

While I am fine with this conceptually, it is the constantly grating, in and out feeling that wreaks havoc on me.

This coupling of the beast (the brain stem) and sufficiently complex thought - to invoke the word conscious - is grotesque to me, and it is why I abhor humanity. I wish this 'beast' part were a tangible and localized thing; for, I would have it removed. However, it must be severely complex and integral to our 'consciousness' so I have no realistic prospects of freeing myself from it. This must be the same feeling that struck Freud and helped him conceive the idea of the Id.

I resign myself to knowing that, while, our desires are fundamental to our thoughts, these same desires needn't be necessary for other intelligent things. Hence, I will strive for absolution via creating something pure, something free from these bodies.



-These are my thoughts as of late.
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*PSEUDOUPDATE*!

(I posted this in the anarchists group, but I'm posting it here too because I think it is interesting as well as important for people to have at least an awareness of.)

Here is an interesting documentary, being hosted on information clearinghouse in four parts on the history of the propaganda/public relations industry; about the strength that it lended to corporate, state...
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aksiokersa:
Seen it, read it, gave it to my boyfriend. tongue

I like Early Transcendentals. I spent a lot of good times getting distracted from its sage teaachings during college.
frankscott:
Sounds interesting, I wonder though if sometimes things that appear planned out were actually done sub-consciously or even accidentaly, life has an interesting way of adapting to circumstances, like a magnetic pull keeping all the little iron filings grouped together and somewhat uniform.
That gets me thinking about the effects of magnetism in the universe and on human beings, the pull of the moon, the chemicals in our bloodstream... you ever look at the calendar when you notice people acting aggresively or seem asleep at the wheel to see if it's a full or new moon?
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I just started reading Wittgenstein's Tractatus Logico-Philosophicus, and I must say that I love the structure and authoritative tone of the work as well as the quasi-crypto-mystical flavor of some of the assertions-- but from the start the logical atomism is wrong, wrong, wrong tongue

The Picture Metaphor / Theory of meaning is really quite vivid and titilating though. Here is an excerpt-- it's an...
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hooraydiation:
I don't think that's a fair assessment. At the very least, I'd say it doesn't apply to all pro-lifers. The ones I am personally friends with are by no means opposed to the happiness of the living. Rather, they see abortion as murder and do not consider the nine months of pregnancy a woman must endure to be sufficient reason to terminate a bonafide human life. They are compassionate people and I can hardly criticize anyone for letting that quality affect their judgement.

Just because they don't agree with our viewpoints doesn't mean they haven't considered them, just as the fact that we're pro-choice doesn't mean that we haven't considered the merits of the pro-life stance as well.
autumngirl:
Yes, I know most things are for the rich. I just haven't given up bitching about it yet.

Could do basic yoga on my own. But I'm working into advanced practices, so I need a guide/monitor.

Thanks for listening to me vent. kiss
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I'm staying awake to "correct" my horrendously fucked up and deeply entrenched sleeping pattern-- 22 hours awake, and counting surreal
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charley:
Don't didd Mr Tibet wink
rys:
I hate missing sleep and fucking my patterns up.

But I love going cazy from sleep deprivation, so it's not all bad.....
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merry giftmas.

Personally, I don't much like this holiday; in particular, I don't much like the practice of gifts - the decorations, weather, and so on are tolerable and sometimes I like those. But I've never liked recieving gifts, as I've always felt that my reactions to them are never what the gift giver expects, and they can tell I'm usually...
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heresy2007:
Wait?

You have given me nothing other then your brief description of Zerzan as an introduction to yourself. And yet, you come and ask, despite my claims of not wanting to talk about it, what exactly it is that I know about Zerzan as an individual and a "leader" of the anarchist movement.

You did both of these things in the same month as the ACLU released it's report of the FBI's campaign of documentation of domestic activist groups. Days in fact after the report suggested that the primary reasoning for these illegal observations was a desire by the FBI to obtain information on any group that may provide "financial or logistical" support to the Earth Liberation Front.

And then you ask me what I know about John??? wink

Cute.

Be aware that right now there are individuals all over the nation that are getting extrodited to former states of residency in order to appear in Grand Jury hearings in which they are being questioned about their involvement and knowledge of the radical environmental movement. These hearings are being held at the Federal Courthouse in Eugene Oregon, and involve people from AR, NY, Canada, and even Florida.

Why would I want to tell you anything without some sort of reasoning behind your interest, some sort of connection to the movement beyond some abstract oppinion you placed in the "anarchy" forum on a soft core porn site?

I'm not trying to be rude to you, I'm just saying be aware of the current climate that the environmental and anarchist movements are engulfed in prior to asking a stranger to go into detail about their relationship with a "person of interrest".

I have no love for Zerzan, and that is why I wrote you and told you I agree with what you said. That should be enough. I refuse however to tell the details of peoples lives that have been ruined enough already by this mans inflated ego. He manipulates, he uses, he is nothing more then the same vultures we are dealing with in the white house. Wishing to keep his hands clean while innocent idealist youth go out and join his self righteous crusade. You will however, get no details out of me beyond that.
marieceleste:
right, deep breaths, i'm gonna try to tackle this...

seeing your life as a film implies something about the overall character of life as we normally see it-- that it could be in some sense illusory... not illusory or unreal in the sceptical sense of doubting the entirety of "existence itself" (whatever that could mean)



ummm... err... yep?

there are many religio-philosophic and mythical ways of dealing with this aspect which everyone will experience (well, some will attempt to cover the feeling up and deny it outright) at some point-- for instance, take Brahma which interacts with itself in a grand and perpetual cosmic drama, as it it plays the role of every human being throughout all time (hence the claims of godhood by ordinary people in Hinduism).



ok, yes, i think i've got that. and i like it! one Being playing out all of humanity is lovely, reinforces the Love Above All rule, as well as the All Stories Are One rule. (i say "rule", but you know, meant to be broken and all that.)

also there is research in cognitive science which make the feelings of life as film seem altogether more bizarre-- e.g. the conscious thought which one takes to direct the action or response under question often follows in time after the action or response itself.



oooh, but this makes sense too! the way i see it, self-determination is not so much about deciding your own fate, but deciding how you will react to your own fate, which then again means deciding your fate, and etc.

so, not real is not "not real" in the sense of "nothing" or "lacking of reality", rather that phrase is a pointing to a clever and pervasive illusion-like veil which is itself generated naturally in the minds of human beings... so how then is it even illusion if it naturally arises? It thinks it is generating itself.

*wanders off and mumbles something about self-deception*



ok, well, i got disconnected half way through that last paragraph, but it sounds nice anyway.
EL SUICIDO LOCO

EDIT: i had to make corrections, and then i realised that the corrections were mucking with the whole existentialist mandate, but it was too late, so i thought i'd add this note. smile

[Edited on Jan 05, 2006 8:05PM]

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I'm going to see Bad Religion and Anti-Flag play tonight. biggrin

It should be a jolly good show.

Last year bad religion played at the same venue, and I had the unfourtunate occurance of getting my glasses elbowed off my head in the pit. Subsequently, I was pissed off for the entirety of the show after that, since I knew I wouldn't be able...
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heresy2007:
welcome to the site.
noticed your in the anarchy group.

I was impressed with your use of Zerzan as a name of an individual you feel you should distance yourself from. I know Zerzan, and can tell you a lot of other reasons as to why we should distance ourselves from him as a movement... Good call...

Welcome to the site, you'll find love here, but also a lot of hate and ignorance. Feel free to stop by my journal whenever, I try and keep it real on here.
severus:
Oh talking about Bad Religion, I just read a story about Greg .. some girl was IM.ing with him and he started wanking off. For real. There are screen shots aaaaa grosss.

Anyway. Hope you had a good time.

Also, just click on the Image link beside the smilies, you see? the list there... "url, member anme, email address, image, bold text, italic text"? they help you out... click on them and have the image-address ready. get a photobucket.com account if you dont have one already...