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madigan

Virgin Islands

Member Since 2003

Followers 143 Following 60

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Saturday Oct 04, 2003

Oct 3, 2003
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This week has been very strange. My moods are up and down and all over the place. I can never tell if I want to rip someone's eyes out or contently laugh. A very fine line, indeed. See, I hate being sad and depressed. It's just not me to mope about. Of course, as some of you may know, there's reason enough for being a little down, especially lately. Sometimes I have to wonder if I really am okay, happy, and moving on with my life and sometimes I wonder, "who am I trying to fool?" I'm not sure anymore. Do I just keep my emotions boxed up, put on a smile, and pretend everything's kosher or am I genuinely doing better? That kind of thing scares me. The way things have gone this week and the next few days to come, I would say I've been trying to pull one over on myself. I guess I'll have to wait and see if this storm will pass.

I don't know if I should keep my second job at the bagel shop. It's nice to have a second paycheck but I forsee a burnout.

On a lighter note, yesterday I received a gift from my dear
almostfamous . He sent me The Tao Of Pooh. How fucking sweet is that?

I love fall. It's getting colder in the mornings and the frost nips at my hands and nose as I leave for work. The sun isn't even awake but I can see it stirring over the purple haze of the mountain range. As I pass the fields there's a blanket of mist trying to fight off the dawn and heat soon to come. Grey morning colors turn into muted pastels as the sunrise peeks over the horizon. I want to shield my eyes, but it's too amazing to even squint. Soon, I will watch the leaves turn to fire as they say their final goodbyes and succumb to winter. The distant smell of pine will acompany the firewood burning into the night and linger on 'til morning. I know it will be a melancholy years end, but it's the simple things in which beauty and happiness are found.

Song of the moment: Sigur Rs - Njsnaveln (track four)
------------------------------
Riddle me this: At night they come without being fetched and by day they are lost without being stolen.
VIEW 25 of 46 COMMENTS
mistressmissy:
happy birthday pretty
Oct 6, 2003
crispy:
How was the birthday? How did you spend it? Is it ok if I add you as a friend?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY (again)!!!!!
Oct 6, 2003

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